Doubts and Regrets
by RoniAllan
Summary: In this story, I imagine what might have happened if, upon Mr. Bennet's sudden death and their eviction from Longbourn, Elizabeth decided that she would rather become a paid companion rather than be dependent on her relatives. HEA
1. Chapter 1

Elizabeth Bennet's return from London with Jane and Maria Lucas after her visit with Charlotte Collins, nee Lucas, in Hunsford saw her very confused about Mr. Darcy. She still retained some of her anger at him because of his affront to her appearance that she had heard him say to Mr. Bingley at that first Assembly in Meryton when she first met him, his disdainful and haughty disregard of everything and everyone who was there, and, most recently, the insults to her family that he said to her when he made his disastrous proposal. However, the letter that he gave her the morning after his insulting proposal at Hunsford made her realize that Wickham's words were not to be trusted. After reading of his vicious nature and disgraceful behaviour, she admitted to herself that he had not behaved as a gentleman should when he made his initial accusations to her, a virtual stranger, about Darcy's having ruined him with his supposed refusal of the living that Darcy's father had intended for him. She did not doubt Mr. Darcy's words as she knew that he was a complete gentleman, but now she not so sure about Mr. Wickham. Darcy's letter also made her understand, even though she did not agree with his reasoning, why Darcy had helped to separate Mr. Bingley from her beloved sister, Jane, thus breaking her heart. She had to admit that Jane did not show her emotions to anyone who did not know her very well, so it was not surprising that Mr. Darcy did not recognize the strength of her attachment to his friend.

She now regretted how angrily she had spoken to him when she refused his offer of marriage, but she did not regret that she had rejected him. She could not believe that any gentleman could have made an offer of marriage while disparaging his intended and her family in the way that he had. She had had no idea that he had been developing any feelings toward her, so his proposal came as a complete surprise. Deep in her mind she wondered if she would ever again receive an offer from such an eligible and wealthy gentleman. What if Mr. Collins was correct in his statement that she had no qualities that would entice eligible gentlemen to ask for her hand? This knowledge gave her the first of several doubts in her mind about what had happened and regrets about what she had done. How could she had misjudged both Mr. Darcy and Mr. Wickham so completely? She now knew that Mr. Darcy was all goodness while Mr. Wickham had only the appearance of integrity. Her pride in her assumed ability to assess characters accurately was seriously shaken. Even though she had long decided to think of the past only as it gave her pleasure, she could find nothing in what she had done to give her any joy.

When she had arrived at the Gardiner residence in Cheapside, she hoped that she could talk to Jane about what had happened at Hunsford. However, Jane's disappointment at not meeting, or even hearing from Mr. Bingley while she was in town, made her problem and anxiety much more immediate than Elizabeth's. Thus, she was not able to discuss her concerns with anyone and had to let them remain as worries in her mind. If she had been able to talk to anyone about what had happened and what she had done. it would not have weighed so heavily in the back of her thoughts.

On their way back to Meryton, they were to meet their father's carriage at an inn where the coach from London stopped. They saw that Kitty and Lydia were already there, having ridden in the Bennet carriage to surprise them. The main topic of conversation from their youngest sisters was that the militia regiment was soon to leave Meryton for their summer camp near Brighton. Lydia and her mother were heartbroken to lose all those fine red coats, so they tried to convince her father to take the whole family on a vacation to Brighton while the militia was stationed there. In this scheme, Lydia was strongly supported by their mother, but Elizabeth was very pleased to learn that her father had no intention of taking the family there. He wanted only the peace and quiet that he found while he was left alone in his library. Lydia was most upset at her father's refusal as she could not imagine how she could live with no red-coated officers to amuse her. Who could she flirt with now? She knew all of the local single gentlemen too well to bother with them except as a last resort if no others were available. The arrival of a whole militia regiment last fall had been her dream come true.

Mrs. Bennet had a number of serious concerns for her daughters. Of course, her long-term worry was the entail on her husband's estate that meant that Mr. Collins, Charlotte's husband, would inherit Longbourn immediately on Mr. Bennet's death. This meant that the surviving Bennets would lose their home and income; thus, as she so often said, they would be thrown out into the hedgerows. To overcome this eventual and inevitable situation, she needed to see all five of her daughters married before her husband died. She still berated Elizabeth for rejecting Mr. Collins's proposal as that would have meant that her least-loved daughter would have been saddled with this buffoon and would have become Mistress of Longbourn on her father's death, thus being able to make Longbourn a home for the rest of her family.

Her more immediate concern was the loss of the militia from Meryton, which meant that none of her daughters would likely secure an officer as a husband as she had hoped. She had had strong hopes for this outcome as she still found that a red-coated officer was the ideal picture of the perfect gentleman.

Her second recent concern was the apparent loss of Mr. Bingley from the neighbourhood. She had had such high hopes that he would have made an offer to Jane before he left Hertfordshire, but he had left without even saying farewell to any of them. When Jane told her that she had not seen him at all while she was in London, this dashed her hopes even more. She just could not understand why he seemed to have given up his pursuit of her most attractive daughter when he had appeared to have been so smitten with her while he was at Netherfield. Naturally, she lamented his loss repeatedly and loudly to anyone who would listen. She mainly bewailed the loss of the 5000 per year that he represented.

Lydia then unexpectedly received an invitation from Mrs. Forster, the wife of the militia regiment's Colonel, to come with her to Brighton as her special friend. Only Lydia and her mother were pleased with this invitation. Kitty was mortified not to have been invited as well, while her mother was pleased that her youngest and most favourite daughter was so honoured. Elizabeth was horrified at the thought that Wickham would still have access to her most flirtatious and silliest sister and that her father might acquiesce to Lydia's pleas to accept this offer to go, so she went to plead with him not to let her go. She argued that Lydia would have no restraint on her behaviour as Mrs. Forster was too young to be trusted as a proper chaperone.

As she could not tell her father how wicked Wickham actually was, which she had learned from Mr. Darcy's letter, he dismissed Elizabeth's concerns. She knew that Miss Darcy's near elopement was not her secret to tell, so her father did not believe that the threat to Lydia was as serious as Elizabeth seemed to be saying. He argued that Lydia needed to learn just how insignificant she was when she was among the many young and attractive women who would be found in Brighton. He also was pleased that Lydia's trip would involve little inconvenience or expense to him as she would be Colonel Forster's guest, saying, "Lydia will never be easy until she has exposed herself in some public place or other, and we can never expect her to do it with so little expense or inconvenience to her family as under the present circumstances." He knew that Lydia's absence would bring peace to Longbourn, which he desired more than anything else. In spite of Elizabeth's arguments, he did allow Lydia to go to Brighton with the Forsters. This caused another source of worry in Elizabeth's mind as she knew that if Lydia acted disgracefully, it would reflect on all her sisters and their reputations would be ruined as any news of anyone's disgrace was such a juicy bit of gossip that just had to be told to anyone who would listen. With one sister acting in a scandalous manner, the gossips would surely assume that the other sisters would do the same. Such a scandal would affect all of their chances of making a good match for a decent husband.

Just a week after Lydia left, Mrs. Bennet was honoured by a visit from her sister, Mrs. Philips. "Sister, did you hear that Netherfield is to be reopened? I heard in Meryton that the housekeeper had been instructed to prepare for Mr. Bingley's return. He is coming all alone; his sisters will not be with him." After exchanging more gossip, Mrs. Philips left to spread the news throughout the village.

As soon as she left, Mrs. Bennet screeched, "Jane! Jane! Where are you? We are saved! Mr. Bingley is coming back to Netherfield. We must decide which of your gowns you will wear when he comes here. I knew that your beauty would save us all from the hedgerows. I knew that Mr. Bingley would have to fall for your beauty. You are not beautiful for nothing."

Both Jane and Elizabeth responded to her shouts. Everyone in the house heard her. Even Mr. Bennet looked up from his book in his library and shook his head. Jane said, "Mother, are you sure? He is coming back? All alone? I wonder why?"

"Yes, my sister Philips heard that the Netherfield housekeeper received instructions to get the house reopened as he is coming back without his sisters or that horrid friend of his. We will have to check your wardrobe. I will make sure your father goes to see him as soon as he comes back. He owes us a family dinner." She burst into the library without knocking. "Mr. Bennet, Mr. Bingley is returning to Netherfield. You have to go see him as soon as he is back to invite him to come to that family dinner that I promised him before he left. Just think what this means for Jane."

Her husband loved to tease her. "Why should I go? You promised when he first came that he would marry one of our daughters, but nothing came of it. Why should I go on another fool's errand?"

"Oh, Mr. Bennet! I do not want to be thrown into the hedgerows when you die. He has 5000 a year and can save us. Why do you always try my nerves so?"

She left the library very dissatisfied, but her worries were unfounded as Mr. Bingley came to visit the morning after he arrived at Netherfield. When he was seen approaching Longbourn on his horse, Mrs. Bennet hurried her daughters to sit in what she decided were their most appealing positions. She welcomed him most warmly and invited him to stay for tea. Most of her efforts to engage him in conversation were wasted as he had eyes only for Jane. He did not stay long but promised to return for the delayed family dinner that very evening.

Bingley's visits to Longbourn were repeated every day after that. Very soon he had talked to Jane about how mistaken he had been to have listened to his sisters and Darcy and that he should have returned last fall as soon as his business in town was completed. He described to Jane how Darcy had come to him after he had returned from Kent to admit that he now knew that he had been incorrect in his assessment of Miss Bennet's regard for him and that he should not have interfered in Bingley's personal life. Bingley admitted to Jane how angry he was with his good friend and told him in no uncertain terms how distraught he was to have lost so many months that he could have spent with Miss Bennet. He said that he might have been married already and worried that someone else may have come to seek her hand in his absence. He said that he had told Darcy that he no longer considered him to be his friend and that he never wanted to see him again. Jane was quite surprised to hear this as Mr. Bingley was usually so easygoing that this anger was completely out of character. She took his firm stance as a compliment to herself and an indication of the depth of his regard for her. This increased her affection for him even more than it had been. She made a special effort to make sure that her regard for him was more obvious than it had been last fall. Even though this was out of her normal behaviour, she did everything she could think of to show him how much she liked him. She smiled more at him and paid him many compliments, thus assuring him of her affections.

It was not long before they had become as close as they had ever been, especially as Bingley saw that Jane was now more open about her feelings for him. Her warmer attention to him resulted in his increasing confidence that she did return his feelings, in spite of what Darcy had first said and his own natural diffidence. He somehow managed to find the courage to ask for her hand, which she very happily accepted. They decided that they did not want a long engagement and set the wedding date for late July.

Of course, Mrs. Bennet wanted much more time to prepare to ensure they had the most impressive and sumptuous wedding ever seen in Meryton, but the betrothed couple remained firm, telling her that they had waited long enough. Unfortunately, this July date upset Elizabeth as the Gardiners had asked her to accompany them on their tour of the North Country at that time. Elizabeth knew that she could not miss Jane's wedding, so she had to beg off this trip to which she had been so looking forward as she longed to travel more and see more of the country. This date also caused problems for the Gardiners as they were torn between their desire to attend the wedding and their desire to take the vacation that they had long deferred because of their very young family and the increasing demands of Mr. Gardiner's business. Mrs. Gardiner especially wanted to visit the village of Lambton in Derbyshire where she had been raised so she could reconnect with friends that she and her parents had known so well. They knew that the growth of Mr. Gardiner's business was such that they would not have another chance to go away for many months, or, possibly, even years, if they did not go this summer. A complication was that they had planned to leave their four children at Longbourn with Jane so their vacation would be even more enjoyable.

In the end, Jane made their decision easier after she and Lizzy had spoken about the Gardiners' dilemma. Jane wrote to them encouraging them to go on their vacation as they had planned as she understood how much her Aunt wanted to go and how demanding the Gardiner business was on their Uncle's time. Jane said that she would forgive their absence as long as they promised to visit her and her new husband later in the summer when they returned. She added that Elizabeth had volunteered to look after their children and so that would not be a problem.

So, just a week before Jane's wedding, the Gardiners came to Longbourn to drop off their children. They spent the day with Jane, Bingley, and the Bennets, then left the next day on their long-awaited trip. So, the Gardiners missed the ceremony, as did Lydia, who did not want to leave Brighton, even for her sister's wedding. She made excuses, but, in fact, she was enjoying the attention of so many officers that she did not want to miss even a day's fun and flirting for a wedding that was not her own.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to Mrs. Bennet's efforts, the wedding was very well organized, even though she had continued to lament that she really needed more time to prepare for such an illustrious event. Jane was a most beautiful bride and Elizabeth stood up with her. To many people's surprise, Mr. Bingley's good friend Darcy did not attend the wedding as it was not publicly known that he had not been invited, and, in fact, had not even been told of the wedding. Miss Bingley loudly bewailed her brother's decision not to invite him, but Bingley remained firm in spite of his sister's lamentations. When he had told her that Darcy was no longer his friend, she realized that this meant that her long-hoped-for dreams of becoming the Mistress of Pemberley were destroyed. The wedding breakfast was held at Longbourn and was quite the crush as so many people wanted to wish the newlyweds well. Netherfield was the largest estate in the area and the Bennets were well-respected.

As soon as they could escape from the wedding breakfast and all of the people who had wanted to congratulate them, Mr. and Mrs. Bingley left on a trip that was scheduled to last for three weeks. They did not tell anyone where they were going as they did not want their honeymoon to be interrupted for any reason. After so much fuss, Bingley wanted nothing more than peace and quiet to enjoy his new wife's charms. The diffident nature of both of them meant that their initial couplings were much more hesitant that they should have been, but they soon learned that the joys of marital relations were so delightful that, with much practice, they were soon lost in each other's delights. Jane's first letters to Elizabeth, of course, did not go into details, but were filled with the wonders of marriage to a loving husband who was so responsive to her wishes. Even though Elizabeth was happy for her sister, in her mind she wondered if similar delights could also have been for her if she had accepted Mr. Darcy's hand at Hunsford. Upon further reflection, she now thought that he just might have been a very good husband for her.

Just a week after the wedding, Mr. Bennet was surprised to receive an express from Colonel Forster in Brighton saying that Miss Lydia had disappeared during the night and that she had left a note for Mrs. Forster saying that she was eloping with Lieutenant Wickham and that they were on their way to Gretna Green to marry. This created quite a stir at Longbourn as Mrs. Bennet was pleased that her precious Lydia had won an officer but was displeased that she would not have a chance to organize her wedding after having such a success with Jane's ceremony.

Lydia's situation appeared to be much worse that they had first expected when Colonel Forster arrived at Longbourn to say that they did not head towards Scotland but were traced for some distance on the London road. He also said that another officer had mentioned that he believed that Wickham had no intention of marrying Miss Lydia as she had no significant dowry and that Wickham was leaving Brighton to escape his debts to both local shop owners and tavern-keepers and even greater debts of honour to his fellow officers. This news horrified the whole family as they all realized that the disgrace of Lydia's ruin would reflect most seriously on every one of them if they did not marry. Mrs. Bennet had immediately lamented Lydia's actions to her sister, Mrs. Philips, thus ensuring that the whole community soon knew what Lydia had done. Mrs. Philips liked nothing more than to spread juicy bits of gossip to her friends, even if it involved her close relatives.

On hearing the Colonel's news, Lizzy went to her father. "Father, what are you going to do? If Lydia does not marry Mr. Wickham, it will mean that we will all be disgraced and will have no future prospects. What gentleman would want to marry into a family known for such disgraceful behaviour. I can only hope that Mr. Bingley does not put Jane aside when he hears this."

"My dear Lizzy; I can only thank you for not reminding me that you warned me not to allow Lydia to go to Brighton. I obviously did not pay sufficient attention to your concerns. You were absolutely right in your worries and I was completely mistaken. It is all my fault; I should have listened to you and not have allowed her to go. Of course, I will do whatever I can to try to find them, but how is a man like Wickham to be worked on? From what Colonel Forster said about his many debts in Brighton and hearing the same from the shops here in Meryton, the only inducement that might tempt him to marry her is money, but I simply do not have nearly enough to satisfy his demands. I expect that he will want at least 10,000 pounds to induce him to marry Lydia; otherwise he may simply tire of her and abandon her. I will go to London to search for them, but I am very doubtful that I will be able to find them in such a big city. How can I possibly find one unknown couple there? I do not know the city at all. I will send an express to Gardiner to ask for his assistance, but it will take days for him to return to London, if my express finds him at all. All that we know is that they are somewhere in Derbyshire and were not expected to return for several weeks from now.

"Right now, Colonel Forster has volunteered to go with me to London to begin to look for them, so I will go with him. I doubt that we will find any trace of them even though the army is also searching for him for deserting his post in Brighton. How could I have allowed this to happen? It is all my fault. You poor girls! What will become of you now? The whole family will all be disgraced because of Lydia's thoughtless actions."

Lizzy saw how distraught her father was, so she went to give him a hug. She worried that he did not look good, but knew that there was nothing that she could do to help him. He soon left with Colonel Forster to go to London. Word soon spread throughout the village of Meryton of Lydia's uncontrolled behaviour and likely disastrous elopement as they had not gone to Gretna Green as first expected.

Mr. Bennet's concerns about his express to the Gardiners not reaching them proved to be correct as they never received it before they left Derbyshire for other northern counties. Thus, it was several weeks later when they returned to Longbourn to pick up their children.

Mr. Bennet returned to Longbourn after searching for two long futile weeks in London. His worries about not finding Lydia and Wickham proved to be correct as they found not the slightest hint of them. No matter how many innkeepers he and Colonel Forster interrogated, no one had seen them. The more he prowled the seedier parts of London, the more discouraged he became. He had had no idea that such poverty and hopelessness existed anywhere in England or was so common in London. He saw many beggars and women, including some about the same age as Lydia and some even younger, making dubious suggestions to him. The more of these desperate women he saw, the closer he looked at them in fear that one of them might prove to be his daughter. Every time he saw any of these women on the streets, he began to think that it might be Lydia. He worried that this would be her fate as soon as Wickham tired of her. Even the very small amount of optimism that he had had about finding his wayward daughter disappeared and turned to utter despair. The Colonel had received substantial assistance from the army to search for the deserter that Wickham proved to be, but they had no luck either. The city was just too big to find one couple who did not want to be found.

When Mr. Bennet entered his home, Lizzy saw how haggard and ill he looked, much worse than when he had left for London. She could not believe that he could have changed so much in just two weeks. Now his face was an unhealthy shade of gray and his hands shook. He went straight to his library but found no solace there. Lizzy went in to see him, but he waved her away, saying that he needed to suffer alone, that it was all his fault. She worried about him, but knew there was nothing that she could do for him except to give him peace and quiet until he recovered. She made sure that the lively Gardiner children did not make any noise anywhere near his door and that her Mother remained in her room above stairs. Even her Mother appreciated the gravity of the situation that the family faced. The loss of her favourite daughter weighed heavily on her mind.

When Elizabeth went back to the library several hours later, she knocked on the door but received no response. She waited for a moment, then went in. She immediately saw that her father was still sitting in his chair leaning on his desk with his head on his arms. She went to him and tried to wake him, with no success. She saw that his eyes were open and fixed on nothing. She touched his face and found it to be cooling. She instinctively knew that he was gone. She ran out, yelling for Hill. When she came, Lizzy sent her in to confirm her suspicions. Hill came out, shaking her head, saying that he was gone.

Lizzy knew that their life as they had known it was gone forever. She knew that she had to take charge of the situation as there was no one else in the house who could do so. She said, "Hill, send someone to Mr. and Mrs. Philips to come as soon as possible. I will tell the family." She found Mary and Kitty in the sitting room; their Mother was in her room. She said to her sisters, "Come with me to Mother. I have some very bad news about Father."

The girls did not argue and they all went up to their Mother's room and entered. "Mother, I have some very important news. I went in to see Father, but he is not moving. I am afraid that the shock of these events was too much for him. He is gone from us forever."

Mary and Kitty sat stunned. Her Mother said, "What do you mean gone? What are you saying?"

"Mother, the shock of Lydia's elopement must have been too much for him. He has died. I sent for Aunt and Uncle Philips. We will need their help."  
Their Mother screamed, "No! No! No! Now what are we going to do? I know that Mr. Collins will throw us out of our home and we will end up in the hedgerows just as I had feared. Oh, Lizzy, you should have married him as I wanted." She wailed long and loudly and could not be consoled. Even Mary and Kitty realized how their world had just changed, and not for the better.

Their Aunt and Uncle Philips came very soon and Mrs. Philips came up to try to calm her sister. Lizzy went down to her Uncle and led him into the library where her Father had not been moved. He quickly confirmed her findings. "Lizzy, you do not need to stay here. I will send notes to the parson and the undertaker. Has the doctor seen him?"

"No. I was not sure what to do so I sent for you. I knew that you would know what needs to be done."

"I will write to these three as we need to make arrangements. We will also have to let Mr. Collins know that Longbourn is now his, but I will wait for a while before I do that. Do you know when the Bingleys and Gardiners will be back?"

"I do not know the exact dates, but they both should be back fairly soon now. I should see to my cousins. I do not want them to know what is happening. They are far too young." Lizzy went out to join the children who were being looked after by their nurse and her Uncle sat down to write the three notes.

All three men came to Longbourn quite soon and took the necessary steps with the minimum input from any of the Bennets as they all knew what had to be done in a situation such as this. Mr. Bennet was interred in just a couple of days. Not many people came to the funeral as he had been so much of a recluse and Lydia's recent scandal made many former friends and acquaintances leery of associating with the Bennets in any way.

Shortly after the funeral, both the Gardiners and Bingleys returned. Their states of cheerfulness from the Gardiners' trip to Derbyshire and the Bingleys' marvelous honeymoon were immediately dashed to pieces. Of course, they were all shocked at what had happened; first, Lydia's elopement and disappearance meant that the whole family was in disgrace; then, Mr. Bennet's death meant that the remaining Bennets would lose their home and only source of income. As soon as they were all together, the Gardiners, Bingleys, Philipses, and Lizzy met to decide what to do about the family. None of them even considered asking Mrs. Bennet to join them as she was still much too overwrought. They all knew that they had to help in this time of their now desperate situation. The Gardiners said they had room to take one daughter, the Philipses said they would house Mrs. Bennet and one daughter, and the Bingleys offered to take one, preferably Lizzy as she and Jane had always been so close. When the Gardiners then said they would prefer to take Kitty, this left Mary to stay with her mother in Meryton. Mr. Philips said that he had to contact Collins very soon, but that he would ask him to give the family several months to relocate before he took possession of Longbourn. He hoped that Collins would be decent enough to allow them this time, but he was not sure. He said that he would enlist the support of Sir William Lucas to see if he could talk some sense in his son-in-law, likely through Charlotte's influence on her husband.

Lizzy's melancholy had become much worse with all of these critical events coming so quickly upon each other. First was Mr. Bingley's abandonment of Jane, even though he had eventually returned; then Darcy's surprise proposal which resulted in her rude rejection of him; then his letter of explanation that showed her how mistaken she had been in her friendship with Wickham, who had now proved to be just as evil as Mr. Darcy had indicated. In spite of what she had felt until now, she began to wonder if she had made a huge mistake in her rejection of such an important suitor. With his almost limitless resources, he could have been the saviour of the Bennet family. Next came Lydia's elopement and disappearance, which meant that they were all in disgrace and the three remaining sisters faced greatly reduced likelihood of making decent, or even any matches. The final blow was her Father's sudden death and the resulting loss of their home and income. All these events piled on each other and greatly affected her temperament, which had always been so positive and optimistic. For the very first time in her life, she began to fall into a state of despondency that approached a serious depression. She tried to fight this off, without much success as she could see no hope for her future. In the past she had always said that people should think only of the past as its remembrance gives them pleasure, but now all of the past events that had happened to her were all negative, except for Jane's marriage.

While Lizzy was pleased that they would all have homes to go to, she was not happy that she would be a burden on her sister and new brother, perhaps forever. She did not care for the thought that she would be dependent on them for everything as she had always been so independent. She managed to meet privately with Jane and her Aunt Gardiner. "Jane, as much as I appreciate your offer to house me, I am not comfortable with the idea of being a burden on you. You know that I have always prided myself on my independence, which I would lose. I have been thinking that I would rather not be reliant on you and your husband and that I should try to find a position as either a companion or a governess. Aunt, do you happen to know of any suitable positions that I might fill?"

Both Jane and her Aunt tried to talk her out of this idea, citing mainly the huge loss in status from that of a lady to that of a paid staff member in someone's household. Jane said, "Lizzy, you are very welcome to stay with us. I would love to have your company. You do not need to think of looking for a paid position. Think of how diminished your position and status would be. You will not be looked on the same. You are a lady! Do you really want to diminish your station in life?"

"Jane, I appreciate what you are saying, but my situation is already much worse than it was because of Lydia. If I stay here in Meryton with you at Netherfield, everyone knows about our disgrace and will treat all of us very poorly. We will be looked down upon, not matter what we do or do not do. It will take years for people to forget about Lydia's actions. We will likely be shunned by everyone that we have always known here. Who would want to marry me now?"

Her Aunt said, "Lizzy, I understand your reluctance to be dependent on anyone, but Jane is right. Remember that you are a lady. If you accept a paid position, you will be looked on much differently from what you have been. Once you make this decision, your status will be very different from what it always has been and what it is now."

"Aunt, I understand that, but the chances of my finding a good husband are now minimal or even nil if I stay in Meryton. I would much rather be out on my own, earning my own keep away from here. I have thought about this a lot over the past few days and I am quite firm in my decision. I hope that you will be able to help me find something suitable in town as there is nothing for me here." She tried to hide the unhappiness that she was feeling about all of the events that had affected her mood over the past several months.

Her Aunt could understand her reluctance to be dependent on her sister as her niece had always had such an independent spirit, which she had greatly admired. "If you are very sure about this, it so happens that I heard of something when we were in Derbyshire. The Burleighs were good friends of my parents, even though they were a landed family and my father owned a shop. I am not sure how this friendship began, but it lasted for many years, until we moved to London. It might have begun as my father and the elder Mr. Burleigh both loved horses and were very knowledgeable about breeding and training them. The Burleighs had a son and a daughter and I was friendly with both of them and saw them all the time.

"When I was in Lambton, I reconnected with the younger Mr. Burleigh. His father died and he inherited the estate, where he is still very actively breeding and training horses. He recently married and his mother moved into the dower house, which is quite close to the village of Lambton, where I grew up. I met with her and she does not like living alone with just servants, but had decided that she would not continue to live with her son as she did not want to be a source of conflict with his new wife while she is learning to be the mistress of their estate. She is looking for a companion and asked me if I knew of anyone suitable. She wants a lady whose main duty would be to keep her company. The dower house has a decent library and she would prefer someone who plays the piano as she loves music and who does not mind living in the country. She said that she would prefer a young person as she wants someone lively but who is willing to live in a rural area.

"She did not talk about the details, but I gathered that she would offer a generous salary with plenty of time off. The duties would certainly not be onerous. Is that the type of position that you were considering?"

"That sounds perfect for me! Would you mind writing to her? My mind is made up. I cannot stay here in Meryton." In Lizzy's mind, the main drawback to this position was that it was in Lambton, which was close to Mr. Darcy's estate of Pemberley. She did not want to meet him again as she was still embarrassed about her rude rejection of his offer in Hunsford.

"If you are really sure that that is want you want to do, I will write to her. As our families have always been close, I am quite confident that she will look favourably on your application. Would you like to come to London with us until we hear back from her? It would be easier to go there from town rather than from here."


	3. Chapter 3

Mrs. Gardiner immediately wrote to the dowager Mrs. Burleigh, describing how her niece was losing her home because of the entailment and so was looking for a position. She gave Lizzy a very high recommendation and described her many positive attributes.

When Lizzy decided that she was sure about taking up a paid position so she could be independent, she knew that the life as she had always known it was finished forever. At the suggestion of her Uncle Philips, who said that they should all decide what items from Longbourn could be considered to be personal and not part of the estate, she picked her favourite books from her father's library and several other small items that were dear to her memory of him and of her home. She also packed up all of her clothes, separating them into different trunks, some of which would go with her immediately and others to be left with Jane to be forwarded to her later when she was more settled.

When the Gardiners were ready to leave Longbourn, they managed to pack the children and all of Lizzy's trunks that were going with her on their carriage. Her departure from her home was very tearful. Jane and Bingley came to Longbourn to see them off. She said her good-byes to all of her family and the Longbourn servants, especially Mrs. Hill, who had known her most of her life. Then the Gardiners took their children, Lizzy, and Kitty, to their home in Cheapside. The carriage was packed, but they managed. Lizzy kept looking out of the carriage windows until the last sights of her home and Meryton were lost to view, perhaps forever.

They arrived at the Gardiner home on Gracechurch Street, where Lizzy stayed while she waited for a reply from Mrs. Burleigh. This reply came as quickly as the mail system allowed and said that Miss Bennet sounded perfect and, if she agreed to the terms outlined in the letter, she would send a carriage for her to come to Lambton. Lizzy sent her acceptance and said that she would wait for the carriage at the Gardiner residence. Everyone was very pleased at Mrs. Burleigh's offer to send her carriage for Lizzy, wondering if this courtesy would be indicative of how she would be treated, more as a friend that as a paid servant. Aunt Gardiner wondered if her family's previous close friendship with the Burleighs was the reason for this special consideration, which had not been expected.

The Burleigh carriage arrived when it was expected and Lizzy was soon on her on her way to Derbyshire. All of the Gardiners and Kitty wished her well and sincerely hoped that this phase of her life would work out well for her. Thus, Lizzy began a new chapter in her life.

The staff that came to meet her with the carriage included a maid, two coachmen, and several footmen. They all treated her very respectfully, much more politely than Elizabeth had expected would be her due as just another staff member. The maid introduced herself as Emma and said that she would serve as Miss Bennet's lady's maid while she was with Mrs. Burleigh. Lizzy wondered why she was being treated so well when she was only going to be a hired companion, but she did enjoy the luxury. The trip took two full days, so they stopped at a decent inn for the night. Emma stayed with her and looked after everything.

As they headed towards Derbyshire, Elizabeth saw that the harvests had already begun, even though it was only late summer, as the seasons were shorter the farther north they went. She saw fields of different hues of brown, ranging from the tans of hay to the golden fields of ripe grain that shone in the sunlight and waved in the breeze. She imagined that the movements were like the waves on the ocean, which she had never seen. She began to see farm workers at the back-breaking task of the annual harvest, with men wielding scythes in their rhythmic sweeping motion, cutting the ripened grain, followed by farm women gathering the cut stalks to tie them into sheaves, using the longest stalks for tying. They then stood the sheaves together to form stooks, in which the cut grain-stalks were placed upright to keep the grain-heads off the ground while still in the field awaiting collection to be taken to the farms for threshing, where the sheaves were beaten to remove the kernels from the stalks. Elizabeth recognized that the various fields of stooked grain sheaves were usually wheat, barley and oats, but some crops she did not recognize. They hay fields were obvious as the cut grass stalks, which were now dry, were forked straight up onto the farm wagons to be taken back to the farms where it would be formed into high ricks for winter feed for the animals. Just looking at how hard the farm workers worked, especially the women, made her appreciate just how comfortable her life had been and perhaps would continue to be, even with her greatly reduced circumstances. This should have made her feel better, but it did not; the hard work of these farm women made her feel sad as she felt almost a kinship with them. She again felt the heavy weight of all of the serious events that had recently affected her life so recently.

Late the second afternoon, they passed through a substantial town and Emma said that this was the town of Derby. She said, "We were not going directly to Lambton. On our way to London, Mrs. Burleigh came with us and we dropped her off at Matlock Manor so she could visit her friends, the Earl and Countess of Matlock. We will be stopping here for a few days, then return to Lambton. Matlock Manor is not far from here."

When they stopped, Elizabeth saw that Matlock Manor was a very large house, one of the largest that she had ever seen, even larger than Rosings, the residence of Lady Catherine de Bourgh. When she had been visiting her friend Charlotte in Kent and had unexpectedly met Mr. Darcy again, he had been visiting his Aunt Catherine with his cousin, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam. Elizabeth realized that she was now at the Colonel's home and that the Earl and Countess were his parents. She knew that Lady Catherine was the Earl's sister.

The carriage stopped at the front entrance of the Manor, where she was greeted by the housekeeper. "Miss Bennet? We have been expecting you. If you will come with me, Mrs. Burleigh and the Fitzwilliams are waiting for you in the drawing room." Rather than being led to the servants' entrance, they entered by the front door. Elizabeth had definitely expected that she would not be allowed this courtesy in her new position, so she was again surprised, but quite pleased.

Elizabeth was led to a very large sitting room, where she saw that several people, who were dressed very elegantly, were waiting for her. One of the ladies, the most elderly of the group, rose and said, "Miss Bennet? I am Mrs. Burleigh. May I introduce you to the Earl and Countess of Matlock?' Lizzy made her best curtsy to them, which was returned by a polite bow and curtsy in return.

The Countess greeted her, "Miss Bennet, welcome to Derbyshire and Matlock Manor. I assume that this is the first time you have been in this county? Please be seated." Elizabeth admitted that it was the farthest north that she had ever been. "Would you happen to be the Miss Elizabeth Bennet who met our son, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, in Kent this spring? He wrote to us about how much he enjoyed your company. He was very complimentary about you."

"Yes, I am. I had no idea that I would be meeting you. I must say that I found the Colonel to be delightful company. He was at Rosings with his cousin, Mr. Darcy, whom I had met in Hertfordshire last fall. I was in Kent visiting my good friend, Mrs. Charlotte Collins, who is from my home town, Meryton. Charlotte married my cousin, Mr. Collins, this January, and he just happened to be the rector at Hunsford. Mr. Collins is now the owner of our estate of Longbourn as it was entailed to the male line and I have no brothers."

The Countess was obviously not pleased to hear this. "How unfortunate for your family! I had heard some of this from my good friend, Mrs. Burleigh, but I was not aware of the details. I understand that you have sisters and they have all had to find places to live. Are they all settled now?"

"Yes, they are. One is married and two are with relatives, as is my Mother." Lizzy did not dare say anything about Lydia's elopement and disappearance. "My married sister asked me to come to stay with them, but I preferred to be independent. They are newly married and I did not want be in their way as they start their new life. It was a stroke of good luck that my Aunt Gardiner had recently been in her home town of Lambton and heard that Mrs. Burleigh was looking for a companion."

Mrs. Burleigh then entered the conversation. "Miss Bennet, please accept our sincere condolences for the loss of your father. The timing of your Aunt's visit was very fortuitous. I knew Madeline Barrie and her parents quite well in Lambton as my husband and her father shared a love of horses. They were both very knowledgeable about breeding and training horses and were quite well-known in those circles. While your Aunt was visiting this summer, she did not mention your situation, so I was surprised to receive the letter from her telling me of you."

"My Aunt did not know of my Father's passing until she returned to Hertfordshire. It was very unexpected and a shock to us all."

"I did not expect to find someone suitable so quickly as my requirements were very detailed. You certainly fill them and I am looking forward to having your company. As you are a lady, you will be treated more as a friend than as a member of my staff. I hope that you will find this satisfactory."

The Countess then resumed her duties of hostess. "Miss Bennet, the housekeeper will show you to your room so you can change and freshen up. We will dine in an hour. While you are here, please consider yourself as our guest. We understand how much of a shock it must be for you to lose your father and your home so suddenly. We were very surprised when we heard that a lady who so impressed our son could have her life so suddenly and completely disrupted. I hope you do not mind but I wrote to him to let him know of your new circumstances. He wanted to come to be with us here, but the war office could not release him from his duties at this time. His older brother, the Viscount, is getting married this fall so he needed to reserve his leave time to be able to attend that important event."

Elizabeth went up with the housekeeper and was shown into a very nice guest room that had an attached dressing room. Here, she saw that Emma was unpacking her trunks. She asked Elizabeth if she would like to have a bath before dinner, which sounded wonderful after such a long ride from London.


	4. Chapter 4

They stayed with the Matlocks for a week, which Elizabeth used to become acquainted with Mrs. Burleigh. She found the lady very personable and not demanding even though her advanced age had reduced her mobility dramatically. It became obvious to Elizabeth that Mrs. Burleigh only wanted someone to keep her company and that there were no onerous duties involved with her new position. During their stay with the Matlocks, Elizabeth's duties were minor as Mrs. Burleigh spent most of her time with her friends, so she was able to spend much of her time wandering through the gardens and nearby woods. She found her time here more like a vacation than work.

In a way, her extensive free time was unfortunate as she found that she spent too much of it alone with only her thoughts. Rather than being enjoyable, they tended to the gloomy with all of the serious events crowding in on her mind. As much as she tried to have a positive outlook, she just could not manage to dispel the darkness that invaded her overall outlook.

At the end of the week, she and Mrs. Burleigh left Matlock and went to Lambton. Mrs. Burleigh's dower house was about a mile from the village and not far from the main Burleigh manor house. She quickly learned the routine of her employer, which suited her quite well. Mrs. Burleigh rose later than Elizabeth, which left her time to walk before breakfast, which they ate together. They were together for the rest of the morning, occasionally making calls on friends or receiving company. Mrs. Burleigh rested after luncheon, which left Elizabeth more time to do whatever she wanted. They always had dinner together, after which Elizabeth played and sang or read to her. Mrs. Burleigh did not stay up late, so Elizabeth again had an hour or two for herself. While this schedule was certainly not onerous, it left a lot of time when she was alone with just her thoughts, which were too often filled with regrets. Her despondency did not lessen as she had hoped would happen once she was settled. She tried to hide her melancholy from Mrs. Burleigh, but this astute lady could tell that something was bothering Elizabeth. She gently tried to ask if there was anything she could do to help her, but Elizabeth merely thanked her for her concern and said that she would be all right once she became more settled. Mrs. Burleigh assumed that Mr. Bennet's sudden death was the cause of her discomposure, so she hoped that her companion would soon come to accept his passing. She was not aware of the other events that had affected Elizabeth's life so dramatically.

Shortly after their arrival in Lambton, Mr. and Mrs. Burleigh came to call on his mother and they were introduced to Elizabeth. "Miss Bennet," he said, "I am so pleased to meet you. You know that I knew your Aunt Madeline quite well and was so pleased to reconnect with her this summer. She appears to be doing very well in town with Mr. Gardiner; I was quite impressed by him. I invited them to come again when they are next in Derbyshire." Elizabeth was impressed by how friendly he seemed and how much he admired her aunt. She saw that his wife was only a couple of years older than she was and that she also appeared to be very welcoming. They had a good visit and Elizabeth hoped that their initial meeting meant that she would be received in a positive manner in all of her interactions with them, just as she had with his mother.

The first Sunday in Lambton, Mrs. Burleigh mentioned that she always attended the ancient church in the village and hoped that Elizabeth would attend with her. Naturally Elizabeth agreed, even though she wondered if this is where Mr. Darcy also worshipped. When they entered the church, Mr. Burleigh led them to their pew, which was near the front. Elizabeth carefully sat at the far end of the bench and saw that the front pew was still empty. Her worst fears came to pass as Mr. Darcy came to claim it, accompanied by a young lady that she assumed was his sister, and two older ladies. When she first saw him, she immediately averted her eyes and turned her head so her bonnet would hide her face from him. She heard little of the sermon as her thoughts were on the handsome gentleman sitting in the front pew. She knew that she could not possibly avoid meeting him in this relatively small gathering. She wondered how he would react to her presence after her very unkind words spoken to him in Hunsford.

At the end of the service, everyone waited until the Darcys walked up the aisle to be the first to exit the church. Again, Elizabeth avoided meeting his eyes and turned her head to allow her bonnet to hide her face. Thus, she did not see Darcy's glimpse of her and his double-take as her shape and escaping curls reminded him so much of the lady who had so strongly attracted him for so many months. He could not believe his eyes and thought that his imagination was working overtime as there was no possible reason for his Elizabeth to be here in Lambton. He was completely distracted as he continued his walk down the aisle with his sister, her companion Mrs. Annesley, and their housekeeper, Mrs. Reynolds. Following their normal custom, they greeted the parson at the bottom of the steps outside the church and waited to greet other parishioners as they exited the church.

The Darcys were followed by the Burleighs, who were also among the most important residents of the area, also being landed gentry. Darcy and his sister greeted all the Burleighs warmly as they had been friends for some time. Darcy's attention quickly focused on the elderly Mrs. Burleigh and the young lady walking beside her; he could not believe that his imagination had not been wrong but that, in fact, it was his Elizabeth. No! Not his as she had rejected him so decisively at Hunsford.

"Miss Bennet! It is you! I could not believe that I recognized you in the Burleigh pew. I certainly did not expect to see you here. How are you? How is your family? May I introduce my sister? Georgiana, this is Miss Elizabeth Bennet from Hertfordshire. Miss Bennet, this is my sister Miss Georgiana Darcy. This is Mrs. Annesley, her companion, and Mrs. Reynolds, our housekeeper."

The ladies automatically made very polite curtsies to each other. Elizabeth could see that Miss Darcy was watching her, albeit shyly. Elizabeth was completely taken aback by his very friendly greeting. She would not have been surprised to have been cut by him after her harsh words she had used in her refusal of his hand. "Mrs. Annesley; Mrs. Reynolds, how do you do? Miss Darcy, I am very pleased to meet you. You know that I first met your brother last fall in Hertfordshire?"

Miss Darcy looked up at her, "Yes. He has mentioned meeting you several times, most recently in Kent. I had hoped that we would have a chance to meet at some point in time. Will you be in Lambton for long?"

"Yes, I will, as I am now Mrs. Burleigh's companion. I just arrived here this week."

Darcy interrupted their conversation. "Companion? Miss Bennet, what happened? Did something happen to your family?"

Elizabeth looked at him and said, "Mr. Darcy, it is too long a story to relate here. I do not want to inconvenience Mrs. Burleigh."

Darcy continued, "Of course; I understand. Mrs. Burleigh, may we call on you so that I might hear Miss Bennet's story? I met all of her family, so I am naturally interested to learn what happened. I have not heard anything about them since Easter."

Mrs. Burleigh could easily see that his interest in Miss Bennet was not just politeness. She had heard at Matlock Manor that they had known each other, but there had been no indication that their acquaintance was anything more than just as friends. "Yes, I will be pleased to receive you. We are at home in the morning."

The Burleighs then took their leave of the Darcys. Once they were in Mrs. Burleigh's carriage, she said, "Miss Bennet, I believe there is a story I have not heard about you and Mr. Darcy."

Elizabeth did not want to relate their history as she was too embarrassed of her behaviour with him. She smiled and said, "Mrs. Burleigh, I would rather not talk about it except to say that there almost was the beginning of a story, but it is nothing now." To deflect the conversation, she said, "Miss Darcy seems quite young and very shy."

Mrs. Burleigh could see that it would not be easy to learn the complete history between the two. "Yes, she is very shy, and seems to be even worse now than a year ago. I do not know what happened to make her this way. I believe that something happened a year ago, but I have not heard of anything at all about it." Mrs. Burleigh was not fooled by Elizabeth's change of topic and knew that something serious happened between the two as Darcy's response to her was very uncharacteristic of him. Usually he was very restrained in speaking when he was in a group of people unless he knew everyone quite well. She had also seen how Darcy had looked at her companion. She was not too old to remember how her husband had looked at her when they were courting; exactly how Darcy had looked at Miss Bennet. She realized that it might not be too long before she would have to find another companion. This caused mixed feelings in her. Even though she had not known Miss Bennet for very long, she admired her for her intelligence and glimpses of her lively personality. The fact that Miss Bennet was related to former friends of hers greatly increased her affection for her. She knew that she would do whatever she could to help her find happiness in her life, especially if it also resulted in Mr. Darcy finding his own happiness. Similar to all of his friends, she suspected that he needed a wife, not just anyone, but someone special who would make him happy. She smiled when she thought how happy she had been with her husband. Even though Miss Bennet's new condition in life appeared to be quite low, she knew that she had been gently born and so could be considered to be suitable to be the wife of a gentleman.

Elizabeth suspected that it must have been Miss Darcy's near elopement with Mr. Wickham that caused the change in her temperament, but she did not say anything as it was not her secret to tell. They rode back to the dower house speaking only of inconsequential things.

When the Darcys entered their carriage, Georgiana was excited about having met Miss Elizabeth Bennet, but the presence of the two older ladies did not allow her to question her brother. All that she said was, "Miss Bennet seems like a very nice lady. Fitzwilliam, I would like to hear what happened to her family to require her to become a companion. That is quite a change for a gentlewoman. It must have been something very serious." She then blushed when she remembered that this type of event must also have happened to Mrs. Annesley to force her to become a companion.

As soon as they reached Pemberley, she found an opportunity to be alone with him and said, "Fitzwilliam, I am very pleased to have met Miss Bennet at last. I wondered what she was like after you had mentioned her in your letters from both Hertfordshire and Kent. I can see that there must be much that you have not told me about her. I would like to know what happened that required her to take on the position of a paid companion. Now that she is here, is there anything that I can do to help your relationship with her? From the way that you greeted her, it is obvious that you are still very interested in her. You know that I only want you to be happy and that you have not been yourself since you returned from Rosings after Easter." She looked at him expectantly, and took his hand when he did not reply right away.

He finally looked at her and said, "Georgiana, you are becoming very perceptive. Yes, there is a story that I have not told you, and I will when I learn more details about what happened to cause Miss Bennet's decision to become a paid companion. I know that her father's estate was entailed to the male line and that he had no sons, only daughters. Aunt Catherine's parson William Collins was the heir to the estate and I expect that something must have happened to Mr. Bennet. I would like to go to see them in the morning and I will try to get the story from her. I promise that I will talk to you and even ask for your advice when I find out more. Miss Elizabeth Bennet is the most remarkable lady I have ever met; a complete opposite of all of the ladies I meet in town. At the risk of being extremely impertinent, you know Miss Bingley. She is typical of town ladies; Miss Bennet is the opposite to her."

Even though they spoke no more of Miss Bennet that evening, she definitely was in both of their thoughts. Darcy even dreamt of her fine eyes and holding her tightly to him, to give her comfort in her time of distress. His sleep that night was not restful at all.


	5. Chapter 5

The morning after meeting the Darcys at church, Elizabeth was undecided what she should do about talking to him about what had happened with her family. She thought that Mr. Darcy's knowledge of her penchant for walking early meant that he might plan to meet her to ask her what had happened to force her to become a paid companion to Mrs. Burleigh. Finally, she decided that she would prefer not to speak to him about her family when they were alone as she may not be able to control her sorrow and she might embarrass herself with her grief. She decided that it would be better to talk to him when they were not alone. As Mrs. Burleigh knew about her father's passing, she thought that she would talk to him if the Darcys came to visit.

She did take a short walk in the morning, but he did not appear as she worried that he might. Mr. and Miss Darcy did come during normal visiting hours that morning and were greeted warmly by Mrs. Burleigh and Elizabeth. Elizabeth ordered tea and Darcy and Mrs. Burleigh spoke of common interests about the neighbourhood until Elizabeth had served tea to everyone.

Then she said, "Mr. Darcy, you asked about news of my family. As you were such good friends with Mr. Bingley, I assumed that you know that he returned to reopen Netherfield without his sisters. He and my sister Jane reconnected and soon both admitted their admiration for the other. They were married in Meryton in July. I was surprised that you were not at the wedding."

Darcy entered the conversation at this point. "Bingley and I had a falling-out when I saw him in town after I returned from Kent. He was quite upset with me and I have not heard from him since that meeting. I was not invited to his wedding and had not even realized that he had returned to Hertfordshire or that he was married. I sincerely hope that he and your sister will have a happy life together. They are both very pleasant people. I can only wish them well." Elizabeth saw that he looked almost wistful when he spoke of their likely happiness together.

Elizabeth instantly knew that Mr. Darcy must have told Mr. Bingley that he had been wrong about Jane's feelings for him and that this was the cause of their falling-out. She looked up at Darcy, smiled at him and mouthed a silent 'Thank you' to him. He understood and nodded back at her with his own warm smile. Georgiana saw this exchange and wondered what it was about. She decided that she would ask him when they were alone.

Elizabeth thought about telling them about Lydia's elopement and disappearance, but knew that this news of Mr. Wickham's continued wickedness would likely cause Miss Darcy to be very distressed because of her own history with this scoundrel, so she decided she would tell him about this only when they were alone.

She continued, "This summer my Father suffered some kind of sudden attack and died almost instantly. I found him in his office. It was a great shock to everyone and meant a complete disruption of our lives because the estate was entailed to Mr. William Collins, Lady Catherine's parson. With the loss of our home, we all had to find places to live. My Aunt Philips took in my Mother and Mary. Miss Darcy, Aunt Philips is my Mother's sister and they live in Meryton where my Uncle Philips is a solicitor. My Aunt Gardiner in London took in my sister Kitty. My Uncle Gardiner is my Mother's brother, but my Aunt is originally from Lambton and knew the Burleigh family quite well. The Gardiners visited Lambton this summer and reconnected with Mrs. Burleigh; this is how I came to be here. My sister Jane offered me a place with them, but I did not want to disrupt their newly-married life. Besides, I have always valued my independence."

Darcy quickly realized that she had said nothing about her youngest sister and did not want to ask about her as he assumed there must be a very good reason for this omission. He thought that he would wait until they were alone to find out. He wondered if this omission was somehow related to her father's demise.

Georgiana was listening to Elizabeth very closely. "Miss Bennet, I am so sorry to hear about your father. Were you close to him?"

"Yes, I was. Of all my sisters, I spent the most time with him and had free run of his office and library. He taught me many things in many different areas. I miss him very much. But, Miss Darcy, you also lost your father, so you know how it is with me."

"I do, but I was quite a bit younger than you when it happened, so I did not have as much time to get so close to him as you did. My brother was closer to your age when we lost him, so he would have felt the loss in a way that was very similar to yours. Fitzwilliam's life was also completely disrupted as he had to take responsibility for the estate and for me. He has been wonderful to me, serving as both my big brother and almost a father figure."

Elizabeth looked up at him and their shared look showed a great understanding between them. Darcy wanted nothing more than to further this sentiment by taking her into his arms to comfort her, but, of course, he could not do this. Elizabeth somehow knew this is what he wanted to do and nodded very slightly at him. Their smiles deepened, which was noticed by both Georgiana and Mrs. Burleigh.

Darcy was confused at this obvious friendliness from Elizabeth as it contrasted so strongly with how much she had appeared to detest him at their last meeting in Kent. He wondered what might have caused such a marked change; could it have been his letter that he gave her when he saw her just before he left Kent? He knew that there was more they needed to talk about to clarify the situation, but time and circumstances were against him for now.

He said, "Georgiana, we should be going. We do not want to wear out our welcome. Miss Bennet, thank you for being so open about what happened. Mrs. Burleigh, thank you for receiving us. We do not have much time left at Pemberley as we are going to town for our cousin's wedding in just a couple of days; then we will be staying there for the winter. However, may we invite you both to come to Pemberley before we leave? Miss Bennet, have you ever been to Pemberley?"

"No, I have not, but I have heard nothing but good about it. I would like to see it."

"May we invite you both to come to dinner, perhaps tomorrow? Miss Bennet, I hope you will play for us and we may be able to convince Georgiana to play, even though she is reluctant to perform before an audience. I will also invite Mr. and Mrs. Burleigh to come as well."

They settled on a time when they would come to dinner. As they were taking their leave, Darcy managed to whisper to Elizabeth, "Miss Bennet, are you still walking early in the morning?"

She replied, "Yes, when the weather permits; although I cannot take such long walks here as I did at home."

"Perhaps I will see you in the morning. Good-day to you."

When they were alone in the carriage, Georgiana said, "Fitzwilliam, I like Miss Bennet very much. I am very sorry we will not have much time for us to get to know each other before we leave for town. I was so sorry to hear how her family suffered when their father passed. What a shame the estate was entailed! May I ask her to write to me?"

"Certainly you may. I am also sorry that our cousin's wedding means that we will be leaving so soon. I am sure that you noticed that Miss Bennet seemed to be quite friendly towards me? This surprised me as we did not part on good terms when I left Rosings."

"Fitzwilliam, there is much you have not told me about that. I am also curious to learn what happened between you and Mr. Bingley. You were such good friends ever since university."

"I promise I will tell you all when the time is right."

When they arrived back at Pemberley, Darcy wrote to Mr. Burleigh asking him to join his mother and Miss Bennet to come to dinner at Pemberley on the morrow. He received a reply that they would come, so he asked Georgiana to confer with the cook to arrange for the menu. He was slowly assigning such tasks to her so she could learn how to become a hostess.


	6. Chapter 6

As the weather was cold but clear the next morning, Elizabeth decided that she would go for a short walk. When she stepped outside, she was not surprised to see that Mr. Darcy was waiting for her, standing beside a very handsome horse. He said, "Good morning, Miss Elizabeth. May I join you on your walk? I really would like to talk to you, if you are willing."

"Good morning to you, Mr. Darcy. Yes, you may walk with me. What will you do with your horse?

"I have to warn you that I cannot spend much time on my morning walks as I have to be back in time to have breakfast with Mrs. Burleigh."

"I am sure that Mrs. Burleigh will not mind if I tie him up over there where there is plenty of grass for him to eat. He will be in no one's way for a while." He led his horse over to where he had indicated and tied him loosely to some branches. He then went to Elizabeth and offered her his arm, which she accepted.

As he was quiet, she said, "Mr. Darcy, I have to admit that I was quite surprised at how friendly you were when we met at church on Sunday. I was even more surprised when you and Miss Darcy came for tea yesterday. After those very harsh words I said to you at Hunsford, I thought that you would not want to have anything more to do with me. I read your letter and am very embarrassed at those accusations I levelled at you. You were so right about Mr. Wickham. I want to offer my sincere apologies for my unforgiving words and false accusations I levelled at you. I truly am sorry for what I thought and said. I also expect that you are responsible for Mr. Bingley's return to Netherfield, for which I thank you very wholeheartedly. He and Jane are very happy together."

"I have long wanted to introduce my sister to you, so our meeting at church was fortuitous. Miss Elizabeth, first of all, I will never do anything that might hurt you in any way. I would never refuse to acknowledge my acquaintance with you anywhere. I am proud to have known you, even if I am not proud of my words and my behaviour when I have been with you. I have to admit that I was worried that you would not have even read the letter I gave you at Rosings, based on how angry you were at my disastrous proposal. If anyone should apologize, it is I, as my words were not kind about your situation and your family. That must have been the worst proposal ever made to any lady anywhere. I am very sorry for my words and even sorrier that I did not secure your goodwill or your hand."

Elizabeth looked up at him and saw that he really did look regretful.

"But please tell me your news as I have not heard anything about you or your family since Easter. As I said yesterday, the last contact I had with Bingley was immediately after I returned to town and went to see him to talk to him about your sister. I told him that I now knew that I had been very wrong about the extent of her regard for him and that she most likely still felt the same way about him. Needless to say, he was very angry at me and said some truly bitter things to me. He said that he no longer considered us to be friends and that he did not want to see me ever again. I have not spoken to him since and have no idea what happened after I left him. His words amazed me as Bingley had always been so mild-mannered. I took his anger to mean that he really did love your sister and that I was very wrong to have tried to keep them apart.

"Very soon after that meeting with Bingley, I picked up Georgiana and came up to Pemberley for the summer. As I said, we will soon be going back to town for our cousin's wedding and we plan to stay there for the winter. Georgiana will continue her lessons in town and I will take her to some of the more informal entertainments as she will be coming out in a year or so."

Elizabeth then said, "There is much news that you probably have not heard, then. As I said, Mr. Bingley did return to Meryton alone to reopen Netherfield. He came to Longbourn the very next day and apologized profusely to Jane, which, of course, she accepted as she still loved him. I suppose that is a mark of true love—it does not fade over time, no matter what happens. To Mr. Bingley's credit, he did not try to place blame on anyone else's advice; he blamed only himself for not realizing how deeply she felt about him and for listening to the opinions of others. It did not take long for them to share their feelings with each other and Mr. Bingley proposed, which Jane very gladly accepted. They were married in July and went on a honeymoon tour." Elizabeth could see that Mr. Darcy appeared to be relieved when he heard this. His smile seemed to be wistful and she thought that he must be thinking of the happiness his former friend found.

"The timing of their wedding was a bit upsetting to me as it upset my hopes of touring the North Country with my Aunt and Uncle. They had invited me to go with them and had planned to leave their children at Longbourn in Jane's care. Instead, they went on their tour and I stayed for the wedding and to look after my young cousins. My Aunt and Uncle were here in Lambton as this is where she had been raised before her father moved the family to London. While they were here, she reconnected with many of her family's old friends, including the Burleighs. They even toured Pemberley and were very impressed with everything they saw. They told me that you were not at home the day that they came but that your housekeeper was very complimentary of you. In fact, everyone in Lambton said nothing but good things about you. I admit that your letter and hearing about how well you were considered here contrasted heavily with how I had thought about you from both Hertfordshire and Kent.

"There was a very serious event that I did not mention yesterday as it is so personal and I knew that hearing about it would greatly upset your sister. Mr. Darcy, I trust you to keep this secret. I am sure that you will as I know that you are a gentleman.

"We heard that the militia regiment was to be removed from Meryton to Brighton. Please believe me when I say how happy I was to hear that as I was so worried about my youngest sisters. You know how inappropriately they acted whenever the officers were around. Unfortunately, the militia Colonel's wife, Mrs. Forster, invited Lydia to go to Brighton with her as her special friend. I tried to convince my Father not to let her go, but, as I could not tell him just how dangerous Mr. Wickham was to innocent young women, I could not convince him of Wickham's wickedness and he allowed her to go.

"Soon after Jane and Mr. Bingley's wedding, we received an express from Colonel Forster saying that Lydia had eloped with Mr. Wickham and that they were last seen on the road to London. The Colonel and my Father searched for them, but never found them. I suppose this should have been expected as neither knows London at all. Both my Uncle Gardiner and Mr. Bingley were out of touch, so they could not help in the search. We have heard nothing at all of her and her foolish behaviour soon became known in Meryton, causing our whole family to be in disgrace. It has not been pleasant for us.

"When my Father returned home, he looked terrible. He was devastated that he had allowed Lydia to go to Brighton in spite of my entreaties. He collapsed and died shortly after he came home; I suspect from guilt and a broken heart. I know that I should have tried harder to convince him not to let Lydia go, but I could not tell him about your sister as it was not my secret to tell. His death meant that we lost Longbourn because of the entail and we had to move from the only home that we had ever known. As I said, my Aunt Philips took Mother and Mary, my Aunt Gardiner took Kitty to London, and Jane and Mr. Bingley offered to take me. However, I did not want to intrude on their new marriage and decided that I did not want to be dependent on my sister for the rest of my life, no matter how close we have always been. I can only blame my independent streak on my decision. As well, I could not stand the thought of seeing their happiness every day when I expect never to experience the same for myself. Perhaps all that had happened to me recently affected me more than I had realized. In any case, I expect that the unfavourable treatment that Jane is receiving from our former friends and neighbours will mean that they will not stay long at Netherfield." Darcy unconsciously pulled her closer to him when she said this. She did not resist as she found that his closeness was comforting.

She continued, "I spoke to my Aunt Gardiner about finding a position as either a governess or as a companion. It so happened that she had spoken to the Dowager Mrs. Burleigh when she was in Lambton and knew that she was looking for a companion to live with her in the Dower House where she had moved after her son's marriage. She has treated me very well, more like a friend or a relative than as a paid member of her staff. She even sent her carriage and maid to London to bring me here. I expect that this unexpected treatment of me reflects how close the Burleighs were to my aunt's family. By the way, while her carriage was picking me up in London, she was in Matlock as she is good friends with your Aunt and Uncle, which I expect you know. I spent a week with them at Matlock before we came here last week. I was very impressed with your relatives as they were very good to me; they treated me as a lady and their guest. I must say that your Uncle is very different from his sister, Lady Catherine."

Darcy had been quiet while Elizabeth was telling him all of her news. "Miss Elizabeth, it is my fault that Wickham ruined your sister. I should have made it known just how evil he was, but I did not say anything in Meryton as I was afraid for my sister's reputation. Wickham would not have hesitated to ruin her good name if I had said anything about how evil he really is. I worry that he will hold this threat of exposure over me forever. However, I have not heard anything from him or about anything you have just old me." In his mind, he decided that he would search for them when they returned to London. He hoped that somehow, he might be able to do something to reduce the shame that Miss Lydia's elopement brought to her whole family.

They were nearing the Dower House, but before she went in, he said, "Miss Elizabeth, no matter what happened in the past or what might happen in the future, please believe me when I say that I will always be your friend. If ever you are in trouble or need any help, any help at all, please remember that."

She turned to him, "Mr. Darcy, thank you for saying that, but I cannot imagine how you can feel that way after what happened between us."

"You know why. You know what is in my heart. Good-day to you, Elizabeth. I will see you at dinner."

His words struck home. She was in a daze when she went in, remembering the words she had spoken about true love not fading over time. She had to force these thoughts to the back of her mind as she went in to break her fast with Mrs. Burleigh.


	7. Chapter 7

When Elizabeth was eating her breakfast with Mrs. Burleigh, she asked a question that she had been considering about trespassing on someone else's property. "You know that I love to walk and have enjoyed the time that I have available to indulge in this pastime so far. I have explored the gardens and woods of the estate and would like to take longer walks, but I do not want to intrude on any property where the owner would not want trespassers. Do you happen to know if the adjoining properties would be open for me to explore?"

"The Burleigh estate borders Pemberley on this side. I know the Darcys quite well and am sure that they would not mind if you walked in their woods, which are very extensive. If you see one of their workers when you are on their property, you should not have trouble if you tell them you are from our estate. I have to ask you to be careful as their woods go on for miles. I do not want you to get lost, so please watch where you are going. Several streams cross Pemberley, so be careful with them as they flood when it rains. As well, the weather here is very changeable in the fall and is getting colder every day, so you may have to curtail the length of your walks when winter sets in. We get quite a bit of snow every winter, so that will make walking much more difficult."

Mrs. Burleigh continued, "There is something else I have meant to ask you. How have you found your duties to me so far? I hope you are not finding my company too tedious? I know that this is quite a change for you from your former life in Hertfordshire."

"Mrs. Burleigh, I am quite happy here and my duties are certainly not onerous in any way. I like the time that I have to get out to walk and have been enjoying your company. My life here is much quieter than it was at home as my sisters could be quite noisy, but I am finding this peace and quiet very restful. However, my free time does give me a lot of time to think about events in the past and what my future might hold. I am finding that so much has happened to me recently that I need to think very carefully about them."

Elizabeth was not completely honest with this statement as she was actually finding her new life to be too quiet; it gave her too much time to think. During her extensive walks at Longbourn, she used the time to escape from the noise at home, but here the house was always quiet. Her time outside was no longer an escape, so it served mainly to give her exercise. Her thoughts during her walks were focused almost exclusively on the serious events that had affected her life recently. After Darcy's words, thoughts of him intruded in her mind, leaving her greatly confused.

That afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Burleigh came to the dower house to pick up the dowager Mrs. Burleigh and Elizabeth to take them to Pemberley for dinner. They passed through the village of Lambton and soon entered the Pemberley park, which consisted of extensive woods in this area, as Mrs. Burleigh had said. The park was very large, and contained a great variety of ground. The road that their carriage followed entered it at one of its lowest points and they drove for some time through the woods that stretch over a wide extent on both sides.

Elizabeth's mind was too full for conversation, but she saw and admired every remarkable spot and point of view. They gradually ascended for half-a-mile, and then found themselves at the top of a considerable eminence where the wood ceased and the eye was instantly caught by Pemberley House, situated on the opposite side of a valley, into which the road with some abruptness wound. It was a large, handsome stone building, standing on rising ground, and backed by a ridge of high woody hills.

In front of the house, a stream of some natural importance was swelled into a small lake, but without any artificial appearance. Its banks were neither formal nor falsely adorned. Elizabeth was delighted. She had never seen a place for which nature had done more, or where natural beauty had been so little counteracted by an awkward taste. They were all of them warm in their admiration, and at that moment she felt that to be mistress of Pemberley might be something, indeed! Elizabeth was delighted. Her first sight of the manor house stunned her as it was the largest private residence that she had ever seen. She had never seen a place where natural beauty had been preserved in the design of the grounds and gardens.

Mrs. Burleigh asked, "How do you like the house, Miss Bennet? Is this the first time you have seen it?"

She replied, "It is. I like it very well. I do not think I have ever seen a place so happily situated. The Darcys must be very proud of their home."

They stopped at the main entrance and a footman greeted them and led them in to the entrance where Mrs. Reynolds waited for them. She said, "Welcome, Mrs. Burleigh, Mr. Burleigh, Mrs. Burleigh, Miss Bennet."

When they had shed their winter outerwear, Mrs. Reynolds led them into the house. They went through several rooms, all of which were large, well-proportioned, and very handsomely decorated. Elizabeth looked out through the windows to enjoy their prospects. She saw the hill, crowned with wood, which they had descended. The hill was a beautiful sight even in early winter. She noted the river; the trees scattered on its banks, and the winding of the valley as far as she could trace it. She looked on all this with delight. As they passed into other rooms, these sights were taking different positions; but from every window there were very picturesque sights to be seen. The rooms were lofty and handsome, and their furniture suitable to the fortune of its proprietor. Elizabeth saw that nothing was either gaudy or uselessly fine. She decided that Pemberley had more splendour and more real elegance than Rosings or Burleigh Manor. She realized that Rosings reflected its Mistress and Pemberley reflected its Master. Of the two, she much preferred Pemberley.

'And of this place,' she thought, 'I might have been mistress! With these rooms I might now have already been familiarly acquainted! Instead of viewing them as a stranger, I might have rejoiced in them as my own, and welcomed to them visitors as I am now being welcomed.' Her regrets at the harshness of her refusal of Mr. Darcy's hand increased.

They entered a large sitting room where Mr. and Miss Darcy waited for them with Mrs. Annesley. After their greetings, Darcy said, "Miss Bennet, I believe that this is the first time that you have been to Pemberley. Do you approve of it?"

"I certainly do! How could anyone not approve of such a magnificent home with its fine furnishings. You must be very proud of it. I commend you on your taste."

"Miss Bennet, I cannot take credit for what you see. It is the work of many generations. Our Mother was the last person to make any significant changes, but that was years ago. I have changed very little since I became its Master. I know that it needs some updating, but that requires a lady's touch. Some day…" He did not finish this sentence, but everyone knew what he was thinking.

A footman soon announced that dinner was ready, so they went through to a very large dining room. Darcy escorted the two Mrs. Burleighs, leaving Mr. Burleigh to escort Miss Darcy. Elizabeth and Mrs. Annesley followed, as was appropriate for persons of their status. At dinner, Elizabeth was seated between the two young ladies and she was soon engaged in lively conversation with the younger Mrs. Burleigh. They included Miss Darcy in the conversation, but her shyness made this difficult. As the dinner progressed, they were more successful and soon the three of them were talking as if they were close friends. Darcy saw this and smiled. Elizabeth noticed that he often looked at her even while he was mainly engaged in conversation with his other guests.

After dinner, Georgiana led the ladies into another sitting room that was graced by a very fine piano. Darcy and Burleigh did not stay separated long, but soon joined them. Darcy asked for music and prevailed on the younger Mrs. Burleigh to play first. She proved to be quite talented, but played only two pieces, saying, "I would love to hear you play, Miss Darcy. I have heard how talented you are."

Georgiana was reluctant to play, but was convinced to do so when her brother gently persuaded her. Her playing showed that she was much more proficient than Mrs. Burleigh. Elizabeth sat on the bench with her and turned the pages for her. After playing several pieces, Georgiana said, "Miss Bennet, my brother has said how much he enjoyed your music. Please give us a chance to enjoy your talents as well."

Elizabeth was disinclined to play after hearing such fine playing, but she agreed after Darcy gave her his gentle encouragement by saying how much he had enjoyed her music in Meryton. She found the score to a piece with which she was familiar and she began to play. As this piece was a song with words, she began to sing, very quietly at first, then with more feeling. Everyone sat entranced at her performance even though it was not as technically proficient as the other two ladies. When she finished, everyone was quiet at first, then Georgiana said, "Miss Bennet, that was so moving. You have a beautiful voice. No wonder that my brother praised you so highly." Then everyone applauded quite energetically, showing how they enjoyed her performance.

After her performance, Elizabeth went to sit by Miss Darcy and began to speak quietly to her. "Miss Darcy, I was very pleased to have met you as I have heard so much about you. This is the first time that I have had a chance to talk to you. I assume that you know that I first met your brother when he went with Mr. Bingley to Hertfordshire? Most of what I heard about your accomplishments were from Miss Bingley. After I got to know her, I was not sure how much credence I should place on her effusions about you, but I now see that she was not exaggerating about your proficiency. You are very talented.

"I then met Mr. Darcy in Kent when I was visiting my good friend, Mrs. Charlotte Collins when he was visiting your Aunt, Lady Catherine, with your cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam. I also met your Aunt and Uncle Matlock when I first came to Derbyshire to join Mrs. Burleigh. I must say that I was very impressed by your relatives. Colonel Fitzwilliam is very personable and the Matlocks were very kind to me in spite of my reduced circumstances."

"Miss Bennet, I was aware of most of what you just said, but all of my knowledge of you came from my brother. You impressed him greatly, which is quite unusual for him to admit. I do not recall his ever saying anything similar about any other lady in the past. When we realized that you were here in Derbyshire, I wanted to make your acquaintance before we leave for town; I wish we had more time to get to know each other better. We will be back in the spring and I hope we will have more time together then. I do not have many friends who are close to my age."

The dowager Mrs. Burleigh then said, "Miss Darcy, Mr. Darcy, as much as I have enjoyed the dinner and the wonderful music, I am getting tired and would like to return home." She had noted that Elizabeth's performance tonight was much better than she had heard when just the two of them were alone. She assumed that Elizabeth's playing and singing were enhanced as her emotions had unknowingly stimulated her to put her all into tonight's song because of the people who were listening to her, especially one certain gentleman.

As they were getting ready to leave, Darcy said, "I now regret that we are leaving for London in just two days as this evening was so pleasant. I have not enjoyed a dinner with such good company and entertainment for a long time. I hope we will have more such evenings when we return in the spring."

Georgiana found a moment to speak to Elizabeth. "Miss Bennet, may I write to you from London? Will you correspond with me if I do?"

"I will be very happy to hear from you and will certainly respond. I would like to hear about your time in town." With these words, the guests left.

After their guests left, Darcy questioned his sister. "So, Georgiana, what do you think of Miss Bennet?"

"I like her; she is so genuine. She talks to me just as if we were sisters. Of course, she has four sisters, so I suppose that comes very naturally to her. Too often, I have the impression that ladies only want to be friendly with me so they can be closer to _you_, but that is not how Elizabeth is. I am sorry that we are going to town as I would like to get to know her better."

"What did you talk about?"

"So many things; music, books, art, her family. We never seemed to lack something to talk about. I have no trouble talking to her as I do with other people. I feel very comfortable with her."  
"Did she ask about me, or speak about my history with her?"

"She told me about meeting you in both Hertfordshire and Kent, but she said nothing about what happened between you two. However, from some things she said, I had the impression that she is not happy with something that happened between you. I believe that she is sorry about something that she did or said, but she did not say what it was. It seemed too personal for me to ask for any details. Fitzwilliam, I know that Miss Bennet is the only lady you have ever mentioned to me in your letters, so I have always assumed that she means something special to you. Will you tell me what happened?"

"Georgiana, I cannot as it is still too personal with me; it still hurts too much. I will say that I behaved very badly with her and ruined any chance I had to bring her into our family. She was rightly very upset with me. I tried to correct some of her accusations, but I still do not know how she feels about me. I will definitely say that Miss Elizabeth Bennet is the most remarkable lady I have ever met. I believe that we could have been very happy together. I know that I will never meet another lady like her."

Even though he had not given Georgiana any details, she immediately understood that her brother must have tried to make her an offer, but that Elizabeth had refused him for some reason. It was also obvious to her that Darcy was very sorry about what he had done or how he had done it. In her own mind, she thought that they were very well suited for each other, so she wondered what she might be able to do to bring them together again. She regretted that they were leaving for town so soon, but thought about convincing him to return to Pemberley earlier than usual so she could try to bring them back together. She thought that she would use her letters to keep her brother in Miss Bennet's mind.


	8. Chapter 8

With the departure of the Darcys from Derbyshire and the approach of winter, life at the dower house became even quieter with fewer visitors coming and fewer visits made to Mrs. Burleigh's friends. This gave Mrs. Burleigh more time to think about her companion, still suspecting that there was much she did not know about the previous relationship between Miss Bennet and Mr. Darcy. In the short time that she had known the young lady, she had become more and more impressed with her great personal qualities, especially her intelligence and lady-like attitude. She found that she had developed feelings that were almost motherly towards her. She decided that she would do whatever she could to further her future happiness as she had the distinct impression that Miss Bennet may have suffered a misfortune, beyond the losing of her father, that still affected her at times. After speaking to her son about her concerns and wishes, she decided what she would do. Her son had also been impressed with his mother's companion and concurred with her plan. When she asked him if he knew any of the history between Miss Bennet and Darcy, he had to admit that he had heard nothing except that Darcy was even more taciturn since returning to Pemberley than he had ever been.

Even though the fall weather was cooler in Derbyshire than what she had experienced in Hertfordshire, it was still not too cold to be able to walk, even in the early mornings. Elizabeth walked every day, usually several times. She soon had thoroughly explored the gardens at both the dower house and at the main Burleigh manor. They were not as large as the ones at Matlock or Rosings, so she soon knew them well after only a few strolls through them. Then she thought that she would begin to explore the woods surrounding the Burleigh estate, which were not very extensive as much of the land was devoted to pastures for the many horses that were Mr. Burleigh's passion. After the first several days, she knew the paths through these woods quite well, so she wanted to extend her rambles off the property. Because her primary commitment was to Mrs. Burleigh, she could not take the very long walks that she had enjoyed from Longbourn; she restricted herself to shorter walks each time she managed to get out. However, as her stride was quite rapid, she did manage to roam for fairly long distances.

She soon began to cross onto the Pemberley lands to find new areas to explore. She was impressed by these woods as they were wilder and much larger than those on the Burleigh estate. She found a number of barely-discernible trails that she carefully followed, being sure she remembered how to return. She worried that with the weather was steadily getting colder, she would not be able to enjoy such long walks much longer. She knew that winter would soon bring much more snow than she had been used to seeing in Hertfordshire, so she expected she would not be able to take her daily walks for several months when winter settled in and snow began to fall. She worried that the snow blanket would obliterate the trails that she followed.

One day she was in the Pemberley woods and she found a slight trail that went down a small decline towards what she expected would be a stream. As she carefully went down the slope, she could hear water trickling over rocks. When she neared the source of this sound, she realized that the pleasant sonance that she was hearing was almost melodious; she related the notes to the music produced by certain keys of a piano. When she reached the bottom of the ravine, she saw that the sound was coming from a small stream that was more a rill than a brook. The sound she had heard resulted from the many rocks over which the water trickled. She could see that the flow at times must have been much greater as marks on the banks showed how high it had been. She assumed that the high water occurred only when it had rained hard or when the winter snows melted in the spring.

She enjoyed the sound of the water so much that she found a dry rock to sit on. This gave her time to look around the area more carefully. She saw that there was a slight clearing on her side of the rivulet just a short way from her. She thought she saw something white in the underbrush, so she got up and went to see what it was. She was very surprised to see that it was a small white cross; just barely white as it appeared to be very old and severely weathered. There appeared to have been a small clearing just in front of the cross, which seemed to indicate that it could have been a grave, likely for a child because of its small size. She could not understand how it could be a grave as it was so far from a churchyard with its hallowed grounds. Surely, no one would have buried a child here and set up a cross unless the circumstances were most unusual. She could not understand how this grave came to be here, or even if it really was a grave.

She went closer to the cross and found another rock to sit on; she just sat there contemplating the putative grave. Her mind immediately thought that whoever was responsible for the cross and the grave must have been desperate and alone. This was a mistake on her part as she realized how alone she was, not just from sitting here by herself in the woods, but her whole new situation. She was alone with no one close to her with whom she could really talk. Previously her sister Jane had been her confidante, but Jane was far away with her new husband, enjoying her married life. She knew that she and Jane would never again be as close as they had been as Jane's life now centered around her husband, whom she loved so completely.

Elizabeth's mind once again drifted to the main events that had so affected her life recently. First, the high hopes that the leasing of Netherfield had engendered but had only resulted in one surly gentleman, two haughty ladies, and a disappointing suitor for Jane. Then her obnoxious cousin and his horrible offer for her hand which she had refused unconditionally, even after he had stated so unequivocally that it was likely the only offer that she would ever receive. After her refusal of his hand, his immediate attachment to her best friend was simply inconceivable to her. Then, her visit to Kent resulted in another insulting proposal that she had rejected so rudely. Mr. Darcy's letter showed her how her ability to assess characters was very lacking and not nearly as acute as she had assumed. She knew that she was completely incorrect about both Mr. Wickham and Mr. Darcy. She now knew that one of them had only the appearance of being a gentleman while the other had all the qualities that a gentleman should have. She now saw that Mr. Darcy actually was a complete gentleman who cared for those close to him and who could have offered her so much. From his words on their recent walk, she believed that he still had feelings for her, but she was not sure of what she felt about him. The joys of Mr. Bingley's return and offer to Jane was a great source of joy, but their wedding was followed quickly by Lydia's elopement and disappearance, which resulted in the disgrace of her whole family. The worst was still to come with her father's sudden death and loss of their home and income.

She should not have thought about all these events in such a depressing spot as she became so unhappy with her situation that she could feel nothing but despondency. This all descended on her like a black cloud as she sat looking at the cross and grave. Tears began to stream down her cheeks and she could not stop them as she knew that most of these occurrences that had happened had been beyond her control. The only action that she could and should have changed was her rejection of Mr. Darcy's proposal. She now saw that this was likely the greatest mistake that she had ever made and that it may have changed her whole life for the worse. Even if she had not loved him then, she thought that her love for him might have developed at some later time.

She sat there and thought about him. She smiled through her tears when she saw him in her mind, so tall and handsome, and so estranged from her. She doubted that his pride would ever allow him to renew his proposal to her. She wondered how she would respond if he did ask for her hand again.

It did not take long before she began to feel the cold seeping deep into her as she sat on that lonely rock. She knew that she should return to the dower house as Mrs. Burleigh would be expecting her to break her fast with her. She knew that now her main responsibility was to this good lady whom she had learned to esteem. She rose and began to retrace her steps. She smiled when she realized how much she had changed recently. While formerly her whole attitude so optimistic that she had once vowed to view the past only as it gave her pleasure, she worried that now the weight of all the recent events had changed her forever, and not for the better.

Elizabeth was not able to walk outside much longer as it soon snowed heavily and became much colder. She and Mrs. Burleigh did not go out much, except to the manor house for dinners with Mr. Burleigh and his wife. The number of visitors reduced dramatically because of the cold and as many of the local gentry went to London to enjoy the entertainments available during the season.


	9. Chapter 9

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have revised one paragraph in this chapter as I had written about Charlotte's letters from Hunsford. Of course, she is now at Longbourn.**

Elizabeth's main source of interest for the next several months was the correspondence she received from her sisters, Charlotte, and Miss Darcy. Jane's letters were the most numerous, and were consistently full of the pleasures she was experiencing with her new husband and household. Jane seemed to be completely contented with her new husband. While Elizabeth was happy for her favourite sister, her continued passionate effusions of the love and joy she was enjoying did nothing to raise Elizabeth's spirits. Of course, she was happy to hear this, but these descriptions of having a good husband reminded her just how alone she was in faraway Derbyshire. Jane's last letter indicated that she might be increasing, but was still not sure. She said that she had not yet told her husband of her suspicions, but would fairly soon when she was more certain.

While Jane's first letters were only full of joy, her subsequent letters began to show a darker side of life at Netherfield. At first, Jane had mentioned how Caroline Bingley had come to live with them even though she constantly complained of life in this rural area. Jane also indicated that their mother began to visit her almost daily. While Jane made no overt complaints, Elizabeth saw that Jane several times mentioned problems resulting from both their mother's and Caroline's interference in the running of the household. The staff was becoming confused at conflicting orders that they were receiving. Then the letters mentioned that their mother began to try to take over some household duties that were properly the domain of the mistress of the house. In addition to this, their mother began to criticize Jane's management of the house when the staff would not follow her orders.

Finally, in one of her more recent letters, Jane mentioned how Mr. Bingley had become very upset when he found Jane crying over these conflicts. Even his easygoing disposition could take no more, although Jane did not write this explicitly. Jane merely mentioned that they were considering two major changes: the giving up of the lease of Netherfield and the removal of Caroline from their house. Elizabeth was not sure how serious Mr. Bingley was about these possibilities until Jane mentioned that her husband's man of business in London had found them a house to rent and that they would be moving there very shortly. Several letters later indicated that they were now situated in London and that Caroline was no longer living with them but had relocated to live with her sister Louisa and Mr. Hurst. She also said that their mother was not pleased at their removal to London, but still expected that they would return to Netherfield in the spring. Jane had not told her of their plans to give up the lease.

The tone of Jane's letters became much more contented after this. She no longer spoke of any conflicts or bouts of crying. She seemed to prefer their new London home, even though it was quite a bit smaller than Netherfield. They did not see Mr. Bingley's sisters very often, which seemed to suit the both of them. Jane said that she had been to see the Gardiners several times and that they greatly enjoyed their aunt and uncle and all of their young cousins. She did say that Kitty seemed to be very changed from what she had been like at Longbourn. Under their aunt's guidance, she was quieter and more not nearly so frivolous as she had been when she had been when she was under the influence of Lydia. Of Lydia, not a word was written, so Elizabeth assumed that nothing had been heard of her.

Jane also began to describe the entertainments they had begun to enjoy with the London season. Perhaps the most important interesting letter from Jane included this passage: _Two nights ago, we attended a musical performance that featured a noted pianist. At the intermission we left our box to get some refreshments. Imagine my surprise when we encountered Mr. Darcy who was accompanied by an attractive young lady! I automatically said 'Good evening, Mr. Darcy.' He returned my greeting with some confusion when he saw that I was with Charles. At first, he said, 'Good evening, Miss Bennet, or is it Mrs. Bingley?' I replied that I was Mrs. Bingley. He then looked at Charles and said very politely, 'Good evening, Bingley.' I was not sure how Charles would respond, but, knowing how amiable he is, you will not be surprised that he returned the greeting and extended his hand to shake that of Mr. Darcy. Obviously, his annoyance at Mr. Darcy was forgotten and he acted as if nothing untoward had ever happened between them. Charles then turned to the young lady and said, 'Good evening, Miss Darcy. Have you met my wife?' She said that she had not so he introduced us. She said, 'If I am not mistaken, you are Miss Elizabeth Bennet's sister. I met her in Derbyshire and was very impressed with her.' She told me of her several meetings with you was quite complimentary. I was pleased to hear what she said about you. She seemed to be shy at first, but became more talkative as she spoke about you._

_I had been unsure how my husband would react when we met Mr. Darcy, but his natural cheerfulness and good nature prevailed. Apparently, their friendship was rekindled at this one meeting and Charles totally forgot about his anger at Darcy. Miss Darcy was enthusiastic about becoming better friends with you and she said how she was looking forward to seeing you again in the spring when they returned to Pemberley. Mr. Darcy invited us to come to visit them next summer, which we gladly accepted. We had to return to our seats then, but we made plans to get together for dinner at Darcy House next week._

Elizabeth thought how wonderful this news was. She had the impression that their move to London from Netherfield was proving to be very good for several reasons: Jane no longer had anyone interfering with the running of her household; she reconnected with more of their family, especially the Gardiners; they were enjoying the entertainments of the London season; and Bingley and Darcy were friends once again. All of this news made Elizabeth smile for her sister.

Elizabeth heard from Mary and Kitty only infrequently. While Mary's letters were replete with religious moralistic platitudes, she did seem to indicate that living with her Aunt Philips was not too bad as their Mother and Aunt spent most of their time gossiping about everyone in the neighbourhood, leaving her free to spend her time however she wanted. Mary said that some of the people in Meryton still treated them poorly, but others were more amicable. Kitty's letters were more cheerful and spoke mainly of their young Gardiner cousins and the entertainments she had enjoyed with her Aunt and Uncle. From Kitty's sly comments about young men that the Gardiners had introduced to her, Elizabeth had the distinct impression that the Gardiners were making great efforts to find a husband for her. Elizabeth smiled at their efforts, but again this reinforced just how alone she was and how she had not met any eligible young gentlemen in Lambton, except for Mr. Darcy.

Charlotte's letters were fairly frequent and consisted mainly of her new life at Longbourn and her duties as the Mistress of an estate. From the words that Charlotte wrote, Elizabeth had the impression that she was becoming quite adept at manipulating her husband so his decisions and actions would not do much harm to the staff or tenants. However, they both seemed still to have a lot to learn. Even though Elizabeth was completely separated from her former home, she hoped the best for Charlotte's efforts.

Elizabeth especially looked forward to the letters she exchanged with Miss Darcy, not because of the descriptions of the few entertainments she was allowed to attend with her brother, but because of her remarks about her brother and cousins, the Fitzwilliams. She described the wedding of their cousin, the Viscount, who was the Colonel's older brother. That wedding appeared to be one of the highlights of the early season in town. From Miss Darcy's comments, it appeared that her brother was quite annoyed at the number of eligible young ladies who were eager to make his acquaintance or tried to get to know him better. From Miss Darcy's comments, she was not pleased when these ladies attempted to become friends with her as she was well aware that they wanted this only to try to get closer to her brother. Elizabeth immediately thought of Miss Bingley when she read this. Miss Darcy also mentioned that she saw her cousin, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam on occasion whenever his military duties allowed him free time to be with his relatives. She also described how they had met Mr. and Mrs. Bingley and how happy she was that her brother and Mr. Bingley had overcome their disagreement and appeared to be fast friends again. She said how pleased she was to have met Elizabeth's sister and how descriptions of her beauty and mild temperament were not exaggerated. She added that the Bingleys appeared to be well suited for each other and gave the impression of complete happiness in their marriage. She said that she hoped they would see more of the Bingleys as Jane would be a good friend to her, just as she hoped that Elizabeth would be when they returned to Pemberley.

Jane's letters also confirmed that she was expecting a child that should be born in the fall. She lamented that this may restrict their travels in late summer, but she hoped that they would still be able to accept Mr. Darcy's invitation to visit Pemberley while she could still travel. This would mean that their visit would have to be in early summer and would not last for too long.

The cold and snowy weather, besides forcing Elizabeth to restrict her normal outdoor exercises, had another serious effect—Mrs. Burleigh caught a cold that settled in her chest. She was feeling very poorly and could not seem to rid herself of her cough. She began to run a fever and was then confined to her bed. The local physician and apothecary were not able to help her overcome her symptoms, no matter what they tried. It was fortunate that Mr. Burleigh, as was his normal practice, spent only a month or so in London as he did not want to be away from his horses for very long. When he returned to Lambton from London, Elizabeth made sure that he was aware that his mother was not doing well. She spent most of her time with the lady, either just keeping her company or reading to her whenever the lady was up to listening. Mr. Burleigh hired an experienced nurse to take primary responsibility for caring for his mother, thus relieving much of that burden from Elizabeth.

With the first hints of spring, the weather finally began to warm sufficiently to begin to melt the snow. With the increased runoff, the streams increased in flow. Birds began to return and the first green leaves began to appear. In spite of the mud that the melting snow produced, Elizabeth was once again able to walk while the nurse cared for Mrs. Burleigh. She soon saw the first crocus and other early spring flowers. With spring, her spirits slowly began to rise in line with the increased water in the streams. Her improved mood made her realize how her depression had affected her for so many months. However, her emotions were still very fragile and varied between optimism and pessimism. She hoped that nothing serious would happen that would prevent her from regaining her previous cheerfulness.


	10. Chapter 10

Elizabeth's increased cheerfulness was crushed one morning when she rose when the sun first made its appearance and its first rays lit up her room. When she went down, the nurse told her that Mrs. Burleigh had died in her sleep during the night. Elizabeth immediately dispatched a note to Mr. Burleigh asking him to come as soon as he could. When the Burleighs arrived, it was up to her to tell him about his mother. While this event was not completely unexpected by anyone, it still meant a pall descended on the whole dower house. Mr. Burleigh took charge of all arrangements and sent for the undertaker and the parson.

Shortly after the funeral, which took place only a few days after the death, Mr. Burleigh came to talk to Elizabeth. "Miss Bennet, I want to thank you for your kind attentions to my mother. Of course, I had hoped that your tenure would last much longer, but she lived a full life. I know that your companionship was much appreciated by her. She told me several times how much she enjoyed your company. You know that her former friendship with your Aunt Gardiner made her especially eager to meet you well before she met you at Matlock. She was truly worried about you and your situation with that entail on your father's estate and soon had decided that she would do whatever she could to help you, no matter what happened to her.

"While her will has not yet been read, she added a codicil to leave you a legacy of one thousand pounds. She told me that she wanted to do this so you would not be left in desperate straits. I want to give this to you right away so you will be free to do anything you want. I know that you realize that I will be closing up the dower house, but I will give you as much time as you need to decide where you will go. Of course, I will do whatever I can to help you, you only need to let me know. I will provide a carriage for you to go wherever you want as I would not want you to have to travel by the public coach as you are a lady."

Elizabeth was very impressed at this unexpected kindness from both his mother and from him. "Mr. Burleigh, your Mother treated me as her friend, even though we just met last year and I was only her paid companion. I truly liked your Mother and was very happy to have been with her. I admit that I am very surprised at this legacy she left for me. I do appreciate your kind words and your offer to give me time to decide where I will go. I have been thinking about visiting my sister in London who is expecting her first child, but I have not yet decided. I will not take advantage of your offer for too long; only as long as the mail system takes for letters to go back and forth to confirm my plans. Again, let me thank you wholeheartedly."

Elizabeth had not decided what she would do and was not really looking forward to returning to Meryton to visit her mother and Mary as she was not sure how she would be treated by the residents there because of Lydia's disgrace. She did want to see Jane and help her when she was due, but that would not be for some months. She knew that she could spend some time with the Gardiners, but she did not enjoy being in London in the summer because the heat seemed to bring out too many appalling smells. She decided that she would write to Jane and to her Aunt Gardiner so she would have options.

It was just a couple of days later that she was surprised to receive a visitor in the form of Miss Darcy. "Miss Elizabeth, we just arrived back at Pemberley yesterday and heard that Mrs. Burleigh had died and that you were still here. I was very sorry to hear about this good lady as the Burleighs have been good friends to our family for many years. I was hoping that you would still be here as I wanted to ask you what your plans are."

"Miss Darcy, it is very good to see you again. I know from your letters that you must have had a good time in town. You certainly seemed to have been busy. As for what my plans are, I must admit that I am not sure what I will do. I may go to London to stay with my sister Jane for some time. As my younger sister Catherine is in London staying with our Aunt Gardiner, that would be pleasant, although I do not relish the thought of being in town in the summer. Mr. Burleigh said that he will be closing up the dower house but that I might take however long I need to decide where I will go. However, I do not want to take excessive advantage of his kind offer, so I have to decide soon."

Miss Darcy continued, "I thought that Mr. Burleigh would want to close up this house, so I asked my brother if I could invite you to stay with us for as long as you need. You know that I would love to have your company. Please say that you will come. I have never had a friend stay with me. Fitzwilliam says that he hopes that you will come as he also enjoys your company. While I do not know everything that happened between you two, I know that he will treat you very well. He really likes you and said that he only wants to see you happy. As well, he invited the Bingleys to come to visit us for the summer, so your sister will be with us as well. I understand that she is expecting and will have to return to their home in town well before her due date, but that will still give us several months together."

Elizabeth was very surprised to receive this invitation as she had certainly not expected it. She had actually thought that she might never see either Darcy again as she had not been sure if they would return to Pemberley before she left Derbyshire. She did want to see more of Pemberley as she had only visited once when they went there for dinner with the Burleighs. She had not had time to get to know this magnificent structure except for the few rooms that Miss Darcy had showed her. She knew that she had visited only a small part of its woods and she had heard how wonderful the gardens were, especially in the spring and summer.

However, she wanted to see the Gardiners and Kitty as well as Bingley's house in town. Knowing that the Bingleys would be coming to Pemberley gave her an idea. "Miss Darcy, I thank you for your very kind offer. However, I do want to visit my Gardiner relatives and see the house that the Bingleys are renting. If I first go to town for a few weeks, I could return with my sister and her husband when they come here. I would like to spend time with you as I have been very impressed with Derbyshire and you have convinced me that there will be plenty to do here in the summer. Would that plan be acceptable to you? I would also love to get to know you better, so would you please call me Elizabeth, or Lizzy, as my sisters do?"

While she did not voice a concern that she had, she was not sure how Mr. Darcy would react to her constant presence in his home. While he was very polite and friendly on the few occasions when they were together in the fall, she still worried that her very rude refusal of his offer in Hunsford was not forgotten and may result in a tense atmosphere while she was staying in his house. She knew that she had misunderstood him so badly that she hesitated to predict how he would react to her if they spent a lot of time together.

In spite of her worries about this gentleman, she knew that she did not want to miss this chance to get to know Miss Darcy and Pemberley better. Being at Pemberley for the summer would give her time to decide on her future. Going to visit Jane first would alleviate her concern not to take undue advantage of Mr. Burleigh's kindness. Her main fear was her possible relationship with Mr. Darcy. In the back of her mind she hoped that something might still be possible between them, but she did not dare base too much hope on this possibility. To keep her options open, she said only that she would seriously consider Miss Darcy's offer to visit.

"Oh, Lizzy, I am so happy that you will consider coming to visit, even if I have to wait for several weeks for your company. You must also call me Georgiana or Georgie. Will you be leaving for town soon? There are so many things we will do when you get here. I know that you love to walk and that you love the outdoors and our gardens are just coming into full bloom. You will love them."

Georgiana gushed more about her plans and how happy she was. What she did not say was that she hoped that Elizabeth would be able to overcome whatever happened between her and her brother and that they would come to some agreement.

After Elizabeth sent a note to Mr. Burleigh telling him that she was going to stay with her married sister in town for several weeks, he came to see her. "Miss Bennet, I was not surprised to receive your note telling me of your plans. I hope that you did not think that you had to leave so quickly; I am sorry if you felt that. I was serious when I said that you could stay at the dower house for as long as you need. I will send my carriage for you whenever you want. I will also send your maid with you for company. I really do not need her services any longer, so if you decide to keep her as your lady's maid, I am sure that she will accept. From what I have heard, she enjoys working with you."  
"Mr. Burleigh, I can only thank you once again for your kind offer and I was prepared to stay here until I decided what I would do. However, when Miss Darcy came yesterday to ask me to stay with her at Pemberley for the summer when I return with my sister, how could I refuse such a kind offer? Pemberley is such a wonderful house and she extolled the beauty of the flowers and gardens in the summer so much that I am very much looking forward to enjoying them with her. With the funds that I have from your Mother's very generous legacy, I will be able to keep Emma as my personal maid. I will ask her if this is what she wants to do."

Mr. Burleigh smiled, thinking that it was not only Miss Darcy who would be looking forward to her visit. Rumors had been circulating in the area since last fall that Darcy was interested in Miss Bennet, even though her circumstances had been reduced so much that she had been forced to accept his Mother's offer to become her paid companion. From his own knowledge of Miss Bennet, he could appreciate her attractiveness and many other fine qualities, especially her intelligence. He suspected there was a history between the two, but he had no specific knowledge of what it might have been or if it might be rekindled.

Elizabeth was ready the morning that a fine Burleigh travelling carriage arrived at the dower house, accompanied by a footman who loaded her trunks. Emma was also ready to go as she had said that she would like to remain as Miss Bennet's personal maid. "Miss Bennet, I am very pleased that you asked that I remain as your lady's maid as I have enjoyed working with you. If I may be so bold, I especially enjoy styling your hair as it is so beautiful, so thick and curly. It is a challenge, but I love to work with it."

Elizabeth was pleased that Emma would continue to assist her as she had been impressed by the friendliness and her slight impertinence. "Emma, as I told you, at home my sisters and I shared one maid, so I am not used to having one all to myself. However, I have enjoyed having you assist me, especially with my hair as I have trouble getting it to behave. I have appreciated how well you look after it."


	11. Chapter 11

Early in the morning, Elizabeth and Emma climbed into the carriage to begin the long trip to London. The carriage was loaded as Elizabeth took all of her possessions, which necessitated that several large trunks had to be tied on the roof. It took two full days and they arrived at the Bingley residence late in the afternoon. Elizabeth saw that it was a large townhouse that was not in the best area of London, but was not far from Mayfair. They were met by Jane and Bingley, who came outside to greet her. While Jane hugged her sister, Bingley told the footman where to take the trunks and the driver where to find the stables. Jane was surprised to see that Elizabeth had brought a lady's maid as she had not been told of Mrs. Burleigh's legacy.

They went in and Jane instructed a maid to show Emma to Elizabeth's room and then to the servant's quarters. She then showed Elizabeth around the house, with Elizabeth making suitable noises at the size and refined taste of the house and furnishings. She quickly decided that the house was perfect for her sister. Jane said, "Lizzy, I am sure that you would like to bathe and freshen up after that long ride; then you can dress for dinner. My maid will show you to your room."

Elizabeth went up and found that Emma was putting her clothes away and had ordered water for a bath, which was very welcome after such a long ride in the carriage. After she bathed and dressed, she went down to the sitting room where Jane was waiting for her. "So, Jane, tell me what is new? How is your health? I can see that you are just beginning to show. What news of the family?"

"Lizzy! So many questions! My health is fine, as I am sure you can see. I had some sickness in the mornings, but that is almost over now. Otherwise, I feel no different. I should be able to be just as active as I have always been for the next few months until I get too big. We will be going to Pemberley in three weeks for about two months, then we will come home until the baby is able to travel. Of course, that will be winter, so we will likely be here until the spring. We do not have any definite plans for next summer.

"As for our family, we have been invited to the Gardiners' for dinner tomorrow, so you will see Kitty and everyone then. You will be surprised at how the children are growing. They are all doing very well. I hear from Mother and Mary. Mother is still not happy that we gave up Netherfield. She has been hinting that they should both come here now that we have a house in town, but I have not invited them. I hope that they do not just show up on our doorstep, but I would not be too surprised if they did. I told Mother that we will be travelling to Derbyshire soon, so I hope that they just stay in Meryton. From her letters, it seems that she and Aunt Philips are really enjoying their time together and Mary is just continuing to do what she always did. Mother also says that Charlotte has been to visit her several times and has been quite friendly. I believe that Mother's resentment for losing Longbourn to Mr. Collins is lessening because of Charlotte.

"But, Lizzy, tell me what is new with you. Will you come up to Pemberley with us? I hope so. Have you seen much of Georgiana or Mr. Darcy? I have enjoyed their company here in town this winter. I am especially glad that Charles and Mr. Darcy are friends again. They get on so well together."

Elizabeth responded, "I have not actually seen them very much as they came to town for their cousin's wedding soon after I arrived in Lambton. I have been writing to Georgiana all winter and she certainly seems to have appreciated our correspondence. She said that she does not have many friends near her own age, so she is happy that she is writing to me. She said how much she enjoyed meeting you. She was also very pleased that Mr. Darcy is friends again with Mr. Bingley as they had been friends for years and her brother does not have many close friends, only many acquaintances. She has been encouraging me to spend the summer at Pemberley, especially as you will be there. I am not sure what to do because of my history with Mr. Darcy. I still do not know what he thinks of me, even though he was quite friendly last fall the few times that we met."

"Lizzy, I hope that you will come with us. I have missed you all winter, even though I have been completely happy with Charles. I would like to have more time with you than just these three weeks. Besides, I have the distinct impression that your attitude toward Mr. Darcy is much better than it was a year ago. Both Charles and I hope that you will give yourselves a chance to get to know each other better as we are sure that you are perfect for each other. So, please, do think about coming with us."

Just then Bingley came in and he expressed how pleased he was that Elizabeth was with them, both for himself and for Jane. He also encouraged her to come with them to Pemberley. "Elizabeth, I may be intruding on something that I should not, but we are both surprised that you brought your own lady's maid. I hope that you know that we would gladly have assigned one of our maids to help you. I realize that your resources are very limited, so I hate to see you take this expense on yourself."

"Thank you for your concern, Charles, but I have not mentioned that Mrs. Burleigh left me a small legacy in her will. My finances are not as bad as they were. Mr. Burleigh, her son, said that she liked me so much and had respected Aunt Gardiner's family so much that she wanted to give me some independence, no matter what happened. She was very displeased to hear about the entail on Father's estate and said how glad she was that their Burleigh ancestors had not put an entail on their estate. Emma had been my maid there and she would have lost her position if I had not retained her services. I was pleased to keep her as she is very competent and pleasant. It is an unexpected luxury having my own maid. I am afraid that she has quite spoiled me."

Jane was pleased to hear this. "Lizzy, she must really have liked you to come so far with you! I am so pleased that you are no longer a paid companion as I hated to see you in service, no matter how well they treated you. We are gently born ladies! In any case, you know that we still will be very happy to have you stay with us for as long as you like. I know that you value your independence, but I would like to have you with us if only just for company. In any case, we decided that I would like to take you shopping as I know that you have not had any new outfits for a long time. Kitty wants to come with us and Uncle Gardiner said that he has received some new fabric that we might like. I will need new clothes as mine are already getting tight. I know a good modiste who is very good and not expensive. We can make our plans tomorrow when we dine with the Gardiners. No arguments! It will be my treat for both of you. Charles has been very generous with me and I have hardly touched my pin money."

Elizabeth did not put up much of a fight about this as she saw how much it would please Jane to be able to be generous with her sisters. They had a merry dinner, the first of many. After dinner, the Bingleys prevailed on Elizabeth to play for them on their piano that was greatly underused as Jane had never learned how to play very well at all.

The next day, Charles left them alone most of the day as he knew that they had much to catch up on. The sisters took advantage of this time and found that they had a lot to talk about. They went to the Gardiners' early to enjoy their reunion with Kitty, their Aunt and Uncle, and their four young cousins. They made plans to visit their uncle's warehouse the next day to find fabrics that they liked. Their Aunt decided that she would join them as she was so happy to see three of her nieces together again. Elizabeth was pleased to see that Kitty was much more mature than she had been at Longbourn, which she attributed to her Aunt's influence and the absence of Lydia. She did ask about their youngest sister, but no one had heard anything about her. Their uncle did say that he was still making enquiries about her, but had not found any trace or either her or Mr. Wickham.

Their three weeks in town went by quickly. The three sisters were together many times, often with their young cousins. The sisters often took their cousins to parks whenever the weather was nice and their studies permitted, thus relieving their aunt so she could have some quiet time to herself.

Jane and Bingley took Elizabeth to a number of entertainments, which they all enjoyed greatly. There were not nearly as many offered in the summer as in the winter season, but they managed to find several that were sufficient for their diversion. Elizabeth especially appreciated these evenings out as she had not gone to any entertainments while she was in Derbyshire.

Elizabeth made a short trip to Meryton to see her Mother and Mary. She greatly appreciated her visit there and she found that their disgrace was slowly diminishing as it had been a year since Lydia had eloped from Brighton, thus ruining the Bennet family name. She even went to Longbourn to see Charlotte. However, her visit there was not as pleasant as it might have been because of the sly comments made by Mr. Collins about the excellent choice that he made to ask Charlotte to be his wife. Elizabeth did not enquire about the management of the estate, but still worried about how the tenants were faring with their new Master.

With Jane's constant encouragement, as well as a number of letters from Georgiana in which she sincerely begged for her to come to visit them, Jane managed to convince Elizabeth that she should not pass up this opportunity to reconnect with Georgiana. Another factor that helped convince her was that the increasing warmth of summer brought out unpleasant smells in the city. They were invited to stay at Pemberley for as long as they wanted, but with Jane increasing, they decided that two months was all that they could spend there before her size would preclude her from any further travels. Jane asked Lizzy to be with her when she delivered and for several months after so she could help her with her baby.

Elizabeth's main concern about visiting Pemberley, of course, was how Mr. Darcy might react to her. While he had been very friendly, almost affectionate, when they had last been together, she was still unsure how he felt about her. At Hunsford, he had said that he loved her, but could his regard for her have lasted for such a long time, especially after the horrible words she had flung at him when she refused his offer? Her anger at him had long dissipated and had been replaced by respect. Everything she had heard about him in Lambton had been very complimentary; she now knew that he was a very good man, perhaps just quite shy among strangers that had made him appear to be so rude and disdainful when he had been in Meryton. Whenever she thought about her very unkind words, she felt nothing but embarrassment. This was one of the events that had caused her such anguish all winter. Her periods of depression and nightmares had lessened, but had not gone away completely. She worried that they might return if she went to Pemberley and saw what she had so carelessly thrown away. However, the thoughts of being with Jane and Georgiana finally convinced her that she should go. In the back of her mind, she hoped that she just might have a chance with him. In fact, she was beginning to hope that she did.

Such a lengthy visit meant that the ladies needed to take many outfits, so Bingley was forced to engage another carriage just for their trunks and personal servants. They were lucky with the weather and the roads, so they arrived at Pemberley late the second afternoon. Both Darcy and Georgiana came out to meet them while the second carriage was directed around to a rear door to unload the staff and luggage. Meanwhile, Georgiana was hugging both Jane and Elizabeth, while Darcy greeted Bingley. Darcy then warmly greeted both ladies, giving special time to Elizabeth, who was pleased at the warmth of his greeting.

They were led in, with Jane enthusiastically admiring the house and furnishings, as she was the only arrival who had never been to Pemberley before. Darcy directed the housekeeper to lead the guests to their rooms, saying, "I am sure that you all want to freshen up after that long trip. We will wait for you in the sitting room. A footman led the Bingleys to the guest wing, while Mrs. Reynolds led Elizabeth to the family wing, saying, "Miss Darcy wanted you to have a room near hers." She did not say that her room would also be close to the Master's suite, but Elizabeth blushed when she realized that it must be. She was led into a very large suite of rooms, consisting of the bedroom, a nice sitting room, and a separate dressing room.

She saw that Emma was already there putting her clothes away. Emma said, "I assumed that you would like to bathe after the trip, so I have asked that hot water be brought up. I was assured that it will be here very soon. I have laid out one of your new gowns for you to wear tonight."

Elizabeth asked her, "How have the staff treated you so far?"

Emma replied, "I knew several of them already, and I know that Mrs. Reynolds is very kind to all the staff, although quite strict. Pemberley is such a wonderful house that I am sure our stay here will be pleasant."

Of course, Elizabeth was pleased that she had Emma with her as she looked after her so well. The bath was ready as promised and she enjoyed soaking in the very large tub. After she dressed and Emma did her hair, she went down to the sitting room where she found the Darcys waiting for her. Georgiana said, "Elizabeth, I hope that your room is satisfactory. I wanted you to be near me so we can get to know each other better."

"The room is very comfortable. In fact, it is the largest suite that I have ever had. Thank you very much for your consideration."

The Bingleys came in some time later, both smiling broadly. No one asked why they were delayed. As Jane was beginning to show, Darcy said, "Bingley, I see that congratulations are in order. Mrs. Bingley, when are you due?" The Bingleys had not publicized her pregnancy, except to her family, while they had been in London.

Bingley blushed and said, "It should be in September, so I want to be back home in August at the latest before Jane gets too big to travel. That gives us about two months to enjoy your hospitality. I hope that is not too long? Did you have other plans for this summer?"

"No, we had planned to stay here all summer, except for a possible short trip to Matlock to visit our Fitzwilliam relatives. Now that I think about it, I might invite them to come here instead. Miss Bennet, you met them when you first came to Derbyshire. Would you mind if I invited them to come for a visit?"

Elizabeth was surprised to be asked her opinion. "Of course not. I thought that your Aunt and Uncle were very congenial people. Please do not hesitate on my account."

"Georgiana, what do you think? Would you mind acting as hostess for them?"

"No, I would not mind. I have stayed with them often enough to know what they like and do not like. Do you know if Richard will be with them this summer, or if he is still busy with his duties?"

"I am not sure what his orders and plans are, but I will ask. Miss Bennet, you met the Colonel. Would you like to see him again?"

This reminded Elizabeth about her visit to Hunsford where she had met the Colonel. "I did like the Colonel as his conversation was always entertaining. I would not mind seeing him again. Jane, you will like the Matlocks and the Colonel. I enjoyed meeting all of them."

Just then the butler announced that dinner was ready. Darcy offered his arm to Elizabeth, and they led the way to the dining room.


	12. Chapter 12

Darcy quietly said to Elizabeth as he led her to the dining room, "Miss Bennet. I am very glad that you accepted our offer to come to Pemberley. I hope that you know that we would love to have you stay with us for as long as you like, even after the Bingleys have to return home. It will be good for Georgiana to have a friend near her own age. I worry that the gap between our ages means that what interests me may not interest her. I know that you will not have the same problem as you have younger sisters. I hope that you will treat Georgiana as just another sister. If there is anything you need to make your visit more pleasant, please do not hesitate to let me know."

Elizabeth was pleased to hear this invitation, but she realized that she could not stay with them if he intended to court her; it would not be acceptable at all. She responded to him just as quietly, saying, "Thank you, Mr. Darcy. My plans are not fixed as yet and I would rather see how our visit goes before I make any commitment." She then turned to Georgiana and said, "Georgie, my rooms are something! They are much larger than any I have ever stayed in. I am glad that we will be close together. Are all the bedrooms like this?"

"Actually, no. Your suite is the same as mine and there are several others similar to them. I assume they were intended for sons and daughters, but as I am the only daughter, your suite has sat unused for many years. I had the staff clean it to get it ready for you. I hope that you will be comfortable in it. Of course, Fitzwilliam is in the master's suite; that and the suite for the mistress are even larger. My Mother was the last person to use that one, so it has also sat unused for many years. I will show them to you when we get a chance."

After they had finished dining, Georgiana asked their visitors if they would like a tour of the house as Jane had never been there before. Jane said that she would like to see the house, but Bingley had been there several times before and he said that he would remain with Darcy while the ladies made their tour. Georgiana first showed them the public rooms and Jane was suitably impressed with everything she saw. She even had several ideas on how she could make their house in London more attractive by following some of the examples she was seeing. They then went up to the next floor to the guest wing, where both Jane and Elizabeth expressed their surprise at seeing how many rooms were there and how nicely they were furnished. They did not enter the suite that had been assigned to the Bingleys.

When they finished touring the rooms in the guest wing, they went to the family wing. Elizabeth noticed that these rooms were mostly larger than the guest rooms and had a much better view as they faced the lake and gardens. They ended up at the Mistress's suite, which was the largest of all the rooms that they had seen. In addition to the dressing and sitting rooms, it also had an attached bath room with a large tub. Georgiana opened a door in the bedroom and said that led directly to the bedroom of the Master's suite. When she went through the door, Elizabeth said, "Georgie, I do not feel comfortable intruding on Mr. Darcy's personal bedroom. If you do not mind, I will not go in. I assume it is similar to this suite, which is the nicest I have ever seen."

Georgiana did not insist on their going in, but in her mind, she hoped that Elizabeth would get to see it at some time in the future. She hoped that the Mistress's suite would be hers in the not too distant future. She had planned to do everything that she could to promote this possibility. She could see from how her brother looked at Elizabeth that he had strong feelings for her. She only wanted to see him happy.

Elizabeth's tour of the house made her realize just what she had lost when she refused Darcy's offer at Hunsford. This house was so grand! She could have been Mistress of it all! Just seeing the Mistress's suite brought the thought that this would have been her own room and that the door to the Master's bedroom would have been well-used. This thought made her blush, which she hoped that Georgiana and Jane did not notice.

After their tour, they returned to find the gentlemen in the music room. Darcy asked Georgiana to play for them, which she did after Elizabeth had encouraged her. As the Bingleys were sitting together on one sofa, Elizabeth sat on another. Darcy came to sit beside her. "Miss Bennet, I hope you will play and sing after Georgiana. I greatly enjoyed hearing you in Meryton. Once again, please allow me to say how pleased I am to see you here. If you are still inclined to walk early in the morning, I will be pleased to show you some of our gardens. I will ask that you be careful when you first enter the woods as they are quite extensive. I would not want you to become lost. Of course, I believe it will not be long before you know your way in them quite well. There are a few roads and paths for you to explore."

Elizabeth did play and sing after Georgiana had played several numbers, to Darcy's complete enjoyment. He sat there entranced, wishing that he could convince her to make her stay here permanent. He decided that he should follow his sister's advice and not rush her before she appeared to be ready to accept his attentions.

As the visitors were tired after their long journey, they did not stay up late. Darcy was going to ask Bingley to join him in a last nightcap, but he saw that Bingley wanted to join his wife when she went up. Their close attentions to each other made Darcy jealous, as this is exactly how he hoped that he and Elizabeth would behave _when_, not _if_ she became his wife. Just seeing her again made him even more sure that this is what he wanted and that they would be very happy together when he finally convinced her to accept his hand.

Darcy went up with Georgiana and Elizabeth. While Georgiana had hoped that she would be able to talk to her friend before they separated, she saw that her brother also wanted a last word with her. Therefore, she left them together and went to her room. Darcy stopped at the door to Elizabeth's room and she turned to him. "Mr. Darcy, I would like to thank you again for your invitation to come here with the Bingleys. Pemberley is a wonderful home."

Darcy wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms when she smiled at him, but he managed to restrain himself and only took her hand. "Miss Bennet, I am very pleased to have you here. As I said, please do not hesitate to ask for anything that might make your visit as enjoyable as possible." He raised her hand and kissed it, perhaps just a bit longer than he should have. "Good-night, Miss Bennet. I hope that you have pleasant dreams." He looked deeply into her eyes before he let her hand go.

Elizabeth saw that he wanted more than just to kiss her hand. The warm feelings that his lips on her hand had created make her wonder how much nicer it would be to be held by him and to kiss him properly. She went into her room in a daze and was distracted when Emma helped her get ready for bed. She lay there, thinking about him. She knew that her feelings for him had undergone a complete change from what they had been in Hunsford and she hoped that he would continue his romantic behavior towards her. She lay there regretting her rude rejection of his suit and hoped that he saw that her attitude had changed about him. Her dreams that night were much more pleasant than they had been for many months.

Elizabeth woke when the sun's first rays entered her room in the small space between the curtains on the windows. As she felt quite refreshed after her sleep, she decided that she would like to see the gardens when they were still covered with dew. She dressed simply without waiting for Emma and went down the stairs to look for a door to the gardens. She saw a footman and asked him which door led to the gardens. He led her to a side door and opened it for her. When she went out, she saw that she was on a small patio that had steps that led directly to a path between rose bushes. As she went down, she took a deep breath to enjoy the freshness of the early morning air. When she stopped by a plant that was covered with blooms, she bent down to take in the fragrant smell.

When she stood up, she was surprised to hear, "Good morning, Miss Bennet. I thought that you might come out first thing to enjoy a walk. May I join you? I would like to show you some of the gardens." She turned to see Mr. Darcy coming down from the patio. He was smiling at her and offered his arm to Elizabeth, which she readily accepted. They wandered through the flowers, stopping often so they could admire certain blooms and smell the fragrance.

When Elizabeth complimented him on his gardens, he said, "I cannot take credit for the gardens as my Mother redesigned much of the layout to make them less formal and, in my opinion, more enjoyable. I have not changed anything except to ask the gardeners to ensure that there are always some flowers in bloom from early spring to the first frost."

Elizabeth said, "Mr. Darcy, I love your gardens. Your Mother was absolutely right in how she designed everything to be so inviting. I imagine that it is different every month as different flowers come into bloom. I love just wandering down these paths with so many colours and different smells. However, I also see that there are several different paths leading into the woods and around the lake. I cannot wait to explore them as well."

"You are very welcome to explore the whole estate, but I would again ask that you start slowly when you enter the woods as they are quite extensive. I would not want you to get lost, so please stay on the trails until you know your way around." In his mind he decided to instruct the gardeners to follow her very discreetly to make sure she would find her way back to the house when she began to extend her walks to include the woods.

Elizabeth greatly enjoyed seeing the gardens as they were some of the best she had ever seen. However, the wonders of the garden and the impressiveness of the house forced her again to think of what she had so rashly refused when she was in Hunsford. She could have been Mistress of all of this, but it was likely too late for that possibility to be offered to her again. Mr. Darcy was proving that he was a very good man, likely the best man that she had ever known or would ever know, but her rejection of him was so rude that she could not imagine that his pride would allow him to consider her seriously ever again. Thus, her enjoyment of the luxury and beauty of Pemberley was offset by her despondency of the rash words that she had said to him.

She forced herself to act her normal cheerful self for the rest of the day as she did not want to upset her hosts. Dinner was again as elegant as she had expected that it would be. Every dish was presented very tastefully and was delicious. Even though she tried to maintain her positive appearance, Darcy, who was constantly watching their guest, noticed that several times she seemed to exhibit sadness, especially in her fine eyes. He could not account for this fleeting impression but decided he would do whatever he could to help her overcome her sadness. He wondered if it had to do with the death of her father as he knew that they had been very close. He did not consider that she might be regretting her refusal of him. If he had, he would have been very happy.

After dinner, they again went into the music room and the ladies entertained them with several pieces, much to her enjoyment. Darcy hoped that this would be only one of many evenings spent in such a pleasurable manner. He did not notice any glimpses of sadness in Elizabeth's eyes when she was playing, but he could not always see them when she was sitting at the piano. They did not stay up very late, but, as before, the Bingleys went up first, then Georgiana and Elizabeth went up together while Darcy stayed behind for a final glass of brandy.


	13. Chapter 13

When Darcy went up, he first went to the door of Georgiana's room and listened. This was his normal routine; not that he expected to hear anything unusual, but his protectiveness of his sister made him make this final check every evening. Hearing nothing from her room, he went to the door to Elizabeth's room and again listened. This time, he thought he heard something that sounded like sobbing. This sound tore at his heart as he immediately wanted to comfort her in any way that he could.

Even though he knew that he should not interfere, he could not stop himself from tapping very lightly on her door. He heard no change from the sounds coming from the room; no invitation to enter. Every bit of his background as a gentleman told him that he should not go in, but he could not stop himself. He gently turned the handle and opened the door just a crack. Then it was obvious that it certainly was sobbing that he heard, coming from the prone figure in the bed. He opened the door enough to let himself in and quietly closed it behind him. His approach to the bed was silent because of the thick carpet on the floor. He stood by the bed and realized that she was not aware that he was there as she had not moved. Her sobbing affected him greatly and he knew that he would do whatever he could to alleviate her sadness.

He reached out and gently put his hand on her shoulder. "Elizabeth, what is it? Please tell me and I will do whatever I can to help you."

She did not start at his touch or his words, giving him the impression that she was either having a bad dream or that she was so despondent that nothing else mattered. She turned to him and said, "Oh, Mr. Darcy! I have been such a fool! How could I have misjudged you so badly. You are such a good man and I threw away our chance to be happy." She began to sob harder.

Darcy immediately bent down and put his arms around her, lifting her to press her against his chest. She did not pull away but leaned against him, continuing to sob. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her even closer to him. She still did not resist but rested her head against him. "It will be all right," he murmured to her. "Together we can overcome anything. Please trust me." He gently kissed her hair that was bound loosely for the night.

He decided that he should not ask her what was troubling her as he first had to try to calm her. He rocked with her in his arms. Her sobs seemed to lessen and she put her arms around him under his coat, nestling in his arms. They stayed like this for some time, with him quietly talking to her, trying to calm her. His rocking of her slowed and stopped, so they were just holding each other. He realized how improper it was for him to be in her bedroom, so he tried to lay her down so he could leave. However, she clung tighter to him and said, "Please do not leave me. Just hold me."

"Elizabeth, I will never leave you. Please trust me." Still holding her, he lowered her and lay down beside her, but on top of the covers, boots and all. He intended to let her go when she fell asleep, but when he tried to let go of her, she held him even tighter. She seemed to be asleep, but he could not get away. He decided to wait for a while, so he just relaxed, trying not to think of how natural it felt to hold her like this, especially as she was wearing only a thin night-dress and her covers were pulled down to her waist. In spite of his best intentions, he also fell asleep on top of the covers.

The next thing that Darcy new, it was morning and he was wakened by the sound of the door opening and a gasp. He was still on top of Elizabeth's bed, holding her in his arms just as they had been when they both fell asleep. He looked up and saw Emma staring at them with wide eyes. He knew that he had to say something, so he said, "Emma, please step out and close the door. Wait there and I will speak to you in a moment."

His words woke Elizabeth, who also gasped at seeing Mr. Darcy holding her in his arms. "Mr. Darcy! What are you doing here? Were you here all night? You are still fully dressed."

Darcy let go of her and got off the bed. Elizabeth pulled the covers up to her chin when she saw that she was wearing only her night-dress. "Elizabeth, do you remember nothing of what happened? When I came up last night, I heard you crying and came in to see what was the matter. I held you only to comfort you. You put your arms around me and would not let go of me. I intended only to hold you until you fell asleep, but I obviously went to sleep as well. I woke up only when Emma opened the door. Of course, she was shocked to see me here. I have to go to talk to her. Will you be agreeable to speaking to me about this later?"

When she nodded, he went to the door and went out to find both Emma and Mrs. Reynolds waiting in the hallway. Mrs. Reynolds had been on staff for many years, so she knew that she could speak to him very bluntly. "Mr. Darcy, what is going on? When I asked Emma why she not was helping Miss Bennet, she said that you were on the bed with her, holding her in your arms." She stood there waiting for him to reply.

"Mrs. Reynolds, Emma, please believe me when I say that nothing improper happened except that I heard Miss Bennet crying last night when I came up and I went in to see what was the matter. I held her to try to get her to sleep, but I fell asleep as well. You can see that I was fully dressed and lay on top of the covers all night. Emma, I expect that you will not mention this to anyone. You may go in to assist Miss Bennet."

Emma tapped on the door and went in. Mrs. Reynolds was not finished. "Mr. Darcy, I have known you since you were a mere lad and have never witnessed anything but the most gentlemanly behaviour on your part. I have seen how you look at Miss Bennet and expect that there is a history between you two. Sir, what are your intentions to the lady?"

"Mrs. Reynolds, yes, there is a history between us. I want nothing less than to make her the next Mistress of Pemberley. I had intended to let our relationship develop slowly before I asked her, but it is obvious that now I have to do something very quickly. I promise you that I will talk to her today. Please believe me when I say that my intentions to her are strictly honourable. I love her and have loved her for a long time."

"I hope that you do sort this out with her and that she replies favourably. From what I have seen of the lady, I will welcome her as Mistress. I am sure that Emma will not say anything, but you have to move quickly before things develop into something improper. Think of Miss Darcy."

He went to his room and his valet was waiting for him. Even though he did not say anything about Darcy's absence from his bed all night, his formal manner betrayed his displeasure. When Darcy was changed and ready, he went down to the breakfast room, where he found that Elizabeth was there, but not Georgiana.

"Good morning, Miss Bennet; we have to talk, but not here. Will you come to walk with me after we eat? I will say that my staff is not pleased with me as they believe that I acted in a way that was not gentlemanly. You and I know that nothing seriously improper happened, but they are assuming the worst."

Elizabeth looked at him and blushed, knowing how it must have looked to the staff to find him on her bed with her. "Good morning, again, Mr. Darcy. Yes, we need to talk. I will walk with you as long as we stay in sight of the house. We do not want any further suggestions of indiscretions that would make the staff doubt your or my good behaviour. We would not want them to think of you as anything less than a gentleman."

They could say no more as Georgiana and Mrs. Annesley came in then. They were followed by Bingley and Jane The discussion at breakfast centered around what plans they each had for the day.

When Darcy and Elizabeth finished eating, he said, "Miss Bennet, it is a beautiful day, so will you take a turn in the gardens with me?" He looked pointedly at Georgiana and Bingley so they knew they were not invited. Elizabeth agreed and she went out with him. After they had left, those remaining looked at each other expectantly. Georgiana looked directly at Jane and said, "Jane, do you think he is going to ask for her hand? I hope so. I like her and know that she could make him happy."

Jane replied, "Georgiana, from the way they were this morning, something is going on. I hope that they come to an understanding as Lizzy has finally realized what a good man your brother is. I agree that they are perfect for each other." She went to the window to see if she could see them in the gardens. She was immediately joined by her husband and Georgiana.

As soon as they were outside, Elizabeth began, "Mr. Darcy, I do not remember exactly what happened when you first came in to my room. You said that you heard me crying and came in to comfort me. I cannot believe that you would have done that as it was so inappropriate for you to be in my room. Please tell me if I invited you to come in."

"No, you did not. I know how improper my entering your room was, but it tore my heart to hear you crying. I intended only to find out what was the matter, then leave. However, I put my arms around you to comfort you and you put your head against my chest. When I went to let go of you, you put your arms around me and would not let me go. Perhaps I did not try hard enough, but it felt so right to hold you against me like that, that I just lay down with you. I did nothing else, except to kiss your hair. I did not get under the covers or touch you inappropriately. I meant to go back to my room, but I must have fallen asleep as the next thing I knew was when Emma opened the door and I saw that it was morning."

"Mr. Darcy, I thank you for trying to comfort me, but I believe that you will agree that this should not have happened and we must not allow it to happen again. Obviously neither of us is blameless, but I feel that the main fault is mine. I should not have prevented you from leaving. I do not know why I held you."

"Elizabeth, you were so upset that I do not blame you. The main fault was my own as I should not have entered your room. Will you tell me why you were so distraught? Was it something that I did?"

"No; you are entirely blameless. I admit that I have not been my normal cheerful self all winter; ever since my Father's death. I believe that it is just that so many serious events happened that they affected me more than I would have expected. I had always thought that I had a better outlook on life, but recently that seems to have changed."

"Please tell me which events affected you so much."

"Obviously I was not as strong as I had always thought, as never before had my mood been affected so drastically. First of all, my horrible cousin's disgusting proposal to me. He actually said that if I did not accept him, I would never receive another offer from anyone else. At first, I thought it was just an insult, but then I began to wonder if it might be true. Then Charlotte completely surprised me by accepting Mr. Collins, even though she knew what he was like. Then Jane was so happy to receive Mr. Bingley's attentions, only to have him desert her with not one word of explanation." When Darcy seemed to want to say something here, she stopped him. "Then Hunsford and my unreasonable and baseless anger at you. I was so wrong about you! Mr. Darcy, I am truly sorry for the things that I said to you, so please forgive me if you can. Then Lydia's thoughtless elopement with Mr. Wickham and her disappearance, which resulted in our family's disgrace in Meryton. Finally, my Father's death and our destitution when we lost our home and income. So much happened in so short a time! The only happy event was Mr. Bingley's return to Netherfield and marriage to Jane. I believe that I have you to thank for that?"

"I wanted only to correct my mistake about her regard for him. Now I can see how right you were as they both seemed to be so happy with each other when I saw them in London. I know that Bingley is completely besotted with your sister. They are obviously perfect for each other. I can only say that I sincerely hope that their happiness never ends. I must add that I felt that I was also in the wrong not to warn the good people of Meryton about Wickham's vicious tendencies. After you told me about the elopement last fall, I searched for them in town all winter. I found that they had gone there from Brighton, but then disappeared without a trace."

Elizabeth was very surprised to hear that he had searched for them. "Mr. Darcy! Why did you look for them? They were nothing to you."

"Elizabeth, I was so wrong to have upset you with my disparagement of your family when I made my disgusting proposal to you that I wanted to do whatever I could to alleviate your distress, no matter what caused it. As I may have showed you last night, I will do anything to work towards your happiness. I will not stop looking for them until we hear something about them."

"Mr. Darcy, speaking of last night; we cannot let anything like that happen again. The easiest solution is for me to leave here as soon as possible."

"No! Elizabeth, no! Do you not realize how much I want you here? Please do not go. I was hoping that your being here might soften your attitude toward me enough that you might welcome my attentions at some point in time. I still love you, even more than a year ago."

"Mr. Darcy! How can that be after I was so harsh with you? I am not worthy of you."

"Elizabeth, you must know, surely you must know, that everything I did was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you, you have bewitched me body and soul and I love you and I always will love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on."

"Oh, Mr. Darcy, for a long time I have realized how much I misread your character then. You are a good man; likely the best I will ever know."

"Does that mean there is hope for us? Do you think you could come to love me, or even to feel something for me, anything at all? I love you so much that I will be content if you will come only to honor me as your husband and accept my love, even if you do not return my love. For many months I have dreamt of having you here with me at Pemberley, just being with me. I dream of hearing the sounds of laughter and happiness in the halls, of hearing the sounds of children, our children. I dream of seeing you and Georgiana together, with your helping her overcome her shyness. I dream of waking every morning to see your beautiful face as the first thing that I see. I dream of seeing you smile at me; you have such a wonderful smile!

"Elizabeth, please tell me if I might speak now, or should I wait? I will do whatever you want."

"Fitzwilliam, for a long time I have known that I was very wrong about you, that we could be happy together. When you held me last night, it felt so natural, so right. I do not know if what I feel for you is love, but I do have very tender feelings for you. If you will be patient with me, I believe that my feelings will become stronger. It will be easy to learn to love you."

"Elizabeth, that is the best news I could ever hear." He dropped down on his knee right on the garden path and took her hand. "Elizabeth, I love you will all my being and want nothing more than to spend our lives together. Will you agree to become my wife?"

"Yes, I will, with all my heart."

Darcy stood and took her into his arms. "May I kiss you to seal our agreement?"

Elizabeth smiled and nodded, tilting her face toward him. He took her into his arms and kissed her very gently, not wanting to rush her, even though he wanted more, much more. He soon disengaged his lips and held her tightly against him.

"We should go in to tell the others. We have to decide how we will go about marrying. I hope that you do not want a long engagement."

"No, I do not. My mind is made up, so we can marry as soon as possible. I passed my 21st birthday, so no consent is needed. I will marry you whenever and wherever you want. I had always thought that I would marry at our parish church in Meryton, but my family's disgrace and our treatment there means that I no longer want that. I will be very happy to marry you here in Lambton."

"If we have banns read, that will mean an extra three weeks. Would you agree if I went to Derby for a common license? Then we could marry right away. If you agree, I will invite my Fitzwilliam relatives to come, but I am not sure if they will."


	14. Chapter 14

Darcy and Elizabeth entered the house and went to find the others. They found them all in the music room where Georgiana was practicing the piano, or at least pretending to. Darcy said, "Everyone, we have something to tell you."

Georgiana looked at the smiles on their faces and rushed to put her arms around them. "Please tell me. From your smiles it is obviously good news."

"I have asked Elizabeth to be my wife and she has agreed. We want to marry as soon as possible, so I will be going to Derby to get a common license from the bishop. While I am there, I will inform the Matlocks and invite them to come to our wedding. The ceremony should be within a week, here in Lambton. I hope that you all approve."

Georgiana said, "Yes, I certainly do! Oh, I am so happy for both of you. I am surprised only that it happened so quickly. Elizabeth, I am so looking forward to having you as my sister. What can I do to help?"

Jane also put her arms around her sister and added her congratulations. Bingley shook Darcy's hand very vigorously.

Elizabeth said to the two ladies, "Will you both help me pick out which dress I should wear to our wedding? I do not have many, but I do have the new ones we had made in London."

Georgiana said, "Of course I will. Fitzwilliam, as soon as you are married, you had better take Elizabeth to Lambton to increase her wardrobe. I know that you will want to be proud of your wife."

Darcy said. "Better still, you two ladies can take her there today. You have much better taste in ladies' clothing than I do. I have an idea. I have to go to the church to arrange for a date for the ceremony. We could all go to Lambton and you ladies can shop while I make that arrangements. I will go to Derby tomorrow for the license and to see the Matlocks. Bingley, are you willing to go with us? You can either help the ladies shop or come with me to the church."

They all thought that this was a good idea, so they took the carriage to the village. Darcy and Bingley dropped off the ladies at the proper shop and they went to the manse to see the parson. This visit did not take long, so he and Bingley next went to the Burleigh estate to tell Mr. Burleigh of their plans. When they arrived there, he introduced Bingley; then he invited the Burleighs to come to the wedding.

Both Mr. and Mrs. Burleigh were very pleased to hear of the wedding. "Darcy, I am very pleased to hear this. We were all very impressed with Miss Bennet and were horrified to hear that her whole family was left homeless because of the entail. You know that I told her that she could stay in the dower house for as long as she needed to decide on her future? When we heard that you had invited her to come to Pemberley, I had hoped that you would work things out with her. Yes, we will be at your wedding, very happily."

Darcy and Bingley then returned to the shop, to find that the ladies were just about ready to leave. Mrs. Gordon, the owner of the shop, was very pleased to serve the Pemberley ladies and promised to have the dress that the ladies had decided that Elizabeth would wear on her special day finished in time for the wedding. She had not received much business from Miss Darcy in the past, so she planned to fill this order to the best of her ability in hopes that they would continue to patronize her shop in the future. She had been very pleased to provide the several dresses that the ladies had ordered for Elizabeth.

Their return to Pemberley was merry as they had all accomplished what they had wanted. Their good mood continued through dinner and into the evening when the ladies played and sang. Darcy had been watching Elizabeth closely all day to see if her mood remained positive. He was glad to see that it had, so far.

When Georgiana sat at the piano for a final piece before they retired, Darcy went to sit beside Elizabeth. "Elizabeth, I have seen that you have been in a very good mood all day, but I am still worried that the night might bring on your bad memories. Will you be all right? Please promise me that if you begin to feel sad, that you will come to me; just for comfort."

"Fitzwilliam, I have been happy all day, but I do not know how I will be tonight. If I come to you, are you sure that we will be able to control ourselves? When you held me last night, I began to have feelings that I have never felt before. I do not believe that I could say 'no' to you for anything when I feel like that."

Darcy smiled at her words. "I know exactly what you mean. If you come to me, I will try my best to behave as I dream of how wonderful our wedding night will be. I do not want to spoil that special night." Elizabeth blushed when he said this.

When they all went up, they first went to the door of Elizabeth's room. Georgiana said, "Should I wait for you to say 'good-night' or will it be safe to leave you two alone? I saw how you were in the garden this morning."

Darcy smiled at her impertinence. "Elizabeth, we have our very own chaperone! Who gave her that job? Georgie, just look down the hall for a moment." She did turn away and she heard some very happy sighs behind her. "Thank you, Georgie." He then kissed her on her forehead and turned to go to his own room, with a final smile at his betrothed.

"Oh, Lizzy, I am so happy for the both of you." The two ladies hugged and went into their own rooms.

Elizabeth went to bed with a smile on her face, thinking of how happy she was now that her future was assured. She had no doubts that she had made the right decision to accept Mr. Darcy. No negative thoughts or dreams affected her that night, so she stayed in her own bed, enjoying a good night's sleep such as she had not experienced for some time. Darcy's night was not so restful as he started at every noise, even the slightest, hoping that his door would open and she would appear. He woke in the morning holding his pillow in his arms, dreaming of his beloved.

Darcy left for Derby after breakfast. He arrived there in the early afternoon and went straight to the bishop's palace where he made his application for a common license. When informed that it would be ready in the morning, he went to Matlock Manor and asked for his Uncle, the Earl of Matlock.

Darcy was shown in to the Earl's office and was greeted warmly. After exchanging family news, Darcy told him why he was in Derby. The Earl was pleased to hear that his nephew was finally getting married and he approved of his choice of wife, even though he knew about her unfortunate history and the loss of her home to the entail. He had long hoped that Darcy would find a wife, but had hoped that she would have a better background and dowry than Miss Bennet. However, having met the lady, he approved of her and believed that she would make a very good wife for his nephew.

They went to find the Countess and related the good news. She was not pleased to hear that Miss Bennet was staying at Pemberley as she knew that this arrangement was not appropriate. However, since the wedding was scheduled in just a few days, she decided not to make this an issue. The Matlocks quickly decided that they would go to the wedding and that they should bring Georgiana back with them so the newlyweds would enjoy a week of privacy. Darcy wondered if Bingley would want to leave as well, but was not worried about their staying as they had not been married for long and would understand their frequent absences for some private time together. Darcy sent an express to Mrs. Reynolds warning her of their arrival and asking her to arrange for a good dinner with the assistance of Miss Bennet and Georgiana. He also confirmed the date of the wedding and that the wedding breakfast would be held at Pemberley.


	15. Chapter 15

The next day, Darcy picked up the license and they all went to Pemberley. The Earl and Countess were introduced to the Bingleys and they greeted the ladies very politely. The Countess said, "Miss Bennet, I admit that we were surprised when Darcy told us about your joining our family, but we are pleased with his choice. We know that you two will be good for each other and that you will be very happy." They were pleased to see that the betrothed couple were very much in love, which was obvious from how they greeted each other. Mrs. Reynolds showed the Earl and Countess up to their suite which she had had made ready for them in the family wing.

Dinner was a happy occasion, even though there were only the seven of them. Bingley was not overwhelmed by the significance of the Matlocks and his natural exuberance kept the conversation lively. After dinner, Georgiana and Elizabeth entertained everyone with their prowess on the piano and in song. It was obvious to the Matlocks that their niece was pleased with Darcy's choice and they expected that Elizabeth would be a very good sister to her.

When the Bingleys and the ladies went up, the Earl and Darcy had a final glass of brandy. "Darcy, while I had hoped that you would soon find someone to marry, I had anticipated that she would have good connections. However, we are pleased with Miss Bennet as we are sure that she will make a great wife for you. When you come to town this winter, we will make sure that she is accepted. Our sponsorship will go a long way to make this happen. In a way I envy you as she is a very attractive lady and her liveliness will be an asset for both you and Georgiana. Your Aunt and I assume that there is a history between you two. Would you like to tell me about it?"

Darcy did tell him of his meeting Elizabeth in Hertfordshire and later in Kent, but he did not give all of the details of what happened between them. This story satisfied the Earl that it was not a rushed decision on Darcy's part.

The next day, all the ladies went into Lambton and found that the first dress that Elizabeth had ordered as her wedding dress was ready except for a few final minor adjustments. They had a pleasant time visiting this and several other shops, where they were made very welcome by all the shop owners who were very pleased to have a Countess as a customer.

While the ladies were on their shopping trip, Darcy, Bingley, and the Earl rode to see Burleigh and examined his horses that were fully trained and ready for sale. Darcy knew that Elizabeth had never been much of a rider, but he decided that she should learn as there were so many trails on the Pemberley estate that were best explored on horseback. Burleigh was pleased to sell him, at a reasonable price, a young mare that he assured Darcy was very gentle and would be suitable for Elizabeth as her personal mount. They invited the Burleighs to come for dinner that evening.

Dinner went very well as everyone knew each other and they were all good friends. Again, the ladies showed their skills at the piano, much to everyone's complete enjoyment. The highlight of the evening, and the last piece of music, was a duet that Georgiana and Elizabeth had practiced. Darcy was pleased to see that his sister had overcome her shyness to be able to perform before this group.

The Burleighs left after promising to attend the ceremony and the ladies soon went up together, thus denying Darcy a chance to say a proper good-night to Elizabeth. After he and the Earl had enjoyed a final brandy, they also went up. Darcy could not resist saying a proper and final good-night to his beloved, so he quietly tapped on Elizabeth's door. He slipped into her room and saw that she was already in bed.

He went to the bed and sat down beside her. "Elizabeth, I just had to say good-night to you with no one watching. Just think—this is the last time we will be apart at night. I have not had a chance to ask you how your nights have been. Have you slept well?"

Elizabeth was embarrassed that he came into her room as she was wearing only a light summer night-dress. She pulled up the covers to her neck and held them there. "Fitzwilliam, again you should not be here, but yes, I have been sleeping well. I dream of you and being with you." When she said this, she blushed very becomingly. "Now, before we get into trouble, please give me a kiss and go to your own room. Tomorrow we will not be apart."

He put his arms around her and gave her what she wanted. They had to force themselves to part, as they each wanted to prolong the delights they were experiencing. He left her after again promising her that tomorrow would be different.

In the morning, the ladies helped Elizabeth put on her new gown. Emma dressed her hair in a very becoming style and they were all satisfied that she would make a beautiful bride. The Bingleys rode to the church in one carriage, the Countess and Darcy rode in another, while the Earl and Georgiana accompanied Elizabeth in a third. The Earl had agreed to act to give Elizabeth away and Georgiana had agreed to stand up with her. Mr. Bingley had accepted the duties of best man. Darcy had found his mother's wedding ring and he wanted Elizabeth to wear this as well. He entrusted Bingley with this precious heirloom.

When Darcy and Bingley entered the church, they were surprised to see that it was full. Darcy could not believe that word of his marriage had spread so quickly and that so many of the local residents, tenants, and staff had come to see him wed. He saw Georgiana enter first, but then his eyes were only on his bride. He heard the murmurs of appreciation from the congregation at her beauty. Everyone was smiling at her, but he did not notice. He barely heard the parson's words as all of his attention was on the beauty standing at his side during the ceremony.

At the end of the ceremony, after they had signed the register, the newlyweds went down the aisle arm in arm and were greeted by the crowd gathered outside who wanted to offer their congratulations. The new couple finally made their way to their carriage for the short trip to Pemberley to enjoy the wedding breakfast and more congratulations. Darcy was again surprised at how many people came to the house to wish them well.

The crowd slowly reduced as people made their way home. The Earl and Countess were the last to leave, taking Georgiana with them after Darcy had promised that he and Elizabeth would go to Matlock in a week to pick her up. They had decided they would spend their first week of their marriage quietly at Pemberley. Bingley and Jane knew that they would not see much of them for at least the first couple of days if they began their marriage as enthusiastically as they had. Bingley was looking forward to teasing his new brother about the delights of being married to a beautiful and loving wife. He expected that Elizabeth would be similar in many respects to her sister. When he mentioned these hopes to Jane, she blushed and swatted his arm, telling him to be nice.

When everyone had left, the Bingleys went outside so they would not intrude on what they expected that Darcy wanted to do. Darcy and Elizabeth were finally alone, except for the staff who were cleaning the remains of the wedding breakfast. Darcy said, "Elizabeth, what would you like to do now? It is coming to our usual dinner time, but I am not hungry." He really wanted to carry her up to his room, but he had decided to proceed very slowly with her. "Will you play for me? Something suitable for a wedding, perhaps?"

Elizabeth could see that this was not what he actually wanted and she was grateful that he was not trying to rush her. "Yes, that would be relaxing." They went to the music room and she played several easy pieces while Darcy sat on a sofa watching her. She then went to sit right beside him. "Now what would you really like to do?" she asked quietly, with a smile. She turned her face up to him in an invitation. Darcy did not need any more encouragement and he took her in his arms and kissed her very gently. In spite of his best intentions, their kisses quickly became much more passionate.

She soon decided that she would need to show him that she was ready as she did not want him to become frustrated with her. She broke off his kiss and whispered in his ear, "Fitzwilliam, would you like to carry me upstairs?"

He moaned when he realized what she was saying, "Elizabeth, are you sure? We can wait if you want."  
"I want to become your wife in every way. I am ready, but please be gentle."

Darcy needed no further encouragement and he easily picked her up and carried her up the stairs to his room, continuing to kiss her all the way. The maids and footmen who saw this, being well trained and very happy for their master and new mistress, only smiled, averted their eyes, and continued with their work. When Darcy carried Elizabeth into the mistress's room, he said, "Shall I call for Emma to help you?"

"No. Will you help me with my buttons?" He managed, although clumsily, as he did not want to let go of her while he worked at them.

What need we say about happened that evening, night, and the next morning? Darcy proved that he could be patient and gentle, much to her complete satisfaction. He also proved that he had been accumulating such a great passion for her that it needed his repeated energetic efforts to assuage. As much as Elizabeth accepted, and even encouraged, his eager attentions, she could tell from his very enthusiastic responses that she could expect that it would take a very long time before either of them tired of this aspect of their marriage.

Neither the Bingleys nor the staff saw much of them for several days, but they finally emerged smiling to eat a dinner in the small dining room with the Bingleys. They disappeared again soon after, to Bingley's smiles and Jane's blushes. Her husband's repeated fervent but gentle demonstrations of his love and her enthusiastic reception of his attentions convinced Elizabeth that what she felt for him was indeed love of the deepest kind. Her admission of her feelings to him made him positive that he was the luckiest and happiest man in all of England and that he had won the hand of the best and most beautiful lady in the country. The Bingleys noticed his smiles that were even broader than they had been at first, and Bingley could not help but tease his friend about his obvious happiness. "Darcy, if I had not so recently experienced the joys of marriage for myself, I would have said that you were bewitched! I guess the sisters are similar in more ways than one! Are we not the luckiest men alive to have won their hearts?"

The newlyweds roused themselves after their incredible first week together as man and wife when they rode to Matlock to pick up Georgiana. Needless to say, neither of them glanced even once at the scenery they were passing, being too busy showing their love for each other. When they arrived at Matlock, Mrs. Darcy's disheveled appearance when she emerged from the carriage made it very apparent to the Earl, Countess, and Georgiana, that the newlyweds were pleased with each other, to say the least. Whenever the Earl made the slightest suggestion of marital bliss, Elizabeth had the courtesy of blushing, thus confirming his suspicions. Darcy's continuous wide smiles only served to confirmed how pleased he was with his wife. In the carriage on the way back to Pemberley, Darcy had to restrain himself from doing what he really wanted in consideration of his sister's sensibilities. Georgiana seemed to be aware of their unspoken desires as it was obvious from the way they looked at each other all the way home.

Of course, their marriage was not all hearts and roses. With two such stubborn individuals, disagreements occurred from time to time, but their passionate natures quickly resulted in ardent sessions of forgiveness. Elizabeth's bouts of depression became fewer with time before they completely disappeared. She found that the easiest way for her to overcome these times were simply to think of the joys she continued to receive from her husband.

At Pemberley in the months that followed, Georgiana came to realize that her brother's marriage was the best thing that had ever happened to him. His personality and demeanor seemed to change, becoming much more open and friendly. While before, he had rarely smiled, now this was an almost constant occurrence, especially when Elizabeth was anywhere near. While it was more difficult for Georgiana to appreciate, her own shyness slowly disappeared with the excellent example set by her new sister, and by her constant companionship and gentle guidance. When she finally made her debut into society, she proved to be one of the most popular debutantes of the season, with many young gentlemen vying for her attention.

With two such passionate individuals as Darcy and Elizabeth, it can be no surprise that a son was born to them within a year of their marriage. He was followed by a daughter, another son, and finally a second daughter over the next few years. Darcy worried about each delivery, thinking of the problems that his mother had suffered, but Elizabeth proved to be healthy enough to survive each ordeal with no lasting effects. Darcy was especially happy with their brood of four children as he had seen the love that siblings could have for each other even in a family as dysfunctional as the Bennets. He had vowed that his children would not be as alone as he and Georgiana had been while they were growing up. His ardent love for his wife ensured that all his dreams were fulfilled, and to a degree that he could never have imagined. As he had so often dreamt, the halls of Pemberley reverberated with the sounds of running steps and laughter.

THE END

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **I hope you enjoyed my story, the ninth that I have published on this site. I welcome all comments and suggestions as I am trying to improve my fiction writing. I certainly know that it can stand improvement after having been only a dry and dusty academic for so many years.

If you are interested, I am currently working on another story, tentatively called "Four Lost Years." As with all of my other stories, it is a variation of the Immortal Jane's original P&P, with a twist in the plot. I then try to imagine what might have happened to the major characters after this twist occurred.

Roni


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